A Few Good Changes

So, change is afoot. The right or left, I'm not sure, but it's coming for us and I am excited and a little apprehensive at the same time. No, unfortunately this change isn't anything to do with a baby just yet, but will effect our M/s I think fairly significantly. Two friends that we have made through our local MAsT group are sadly leaving us. If I could tie them down and make them stay I would, but I definitely can't blame them for taking the opportunity to jump at something they have been mulling over for quite sometime. I ended up spending eight years living in Victoria because I jumped when the chance arose and I am forever thankful that I did. Not only did I get to make Victoria my home but I met the woman of my dreams there that I get to spend the rest of my life with! Change is scary, but amazing . Best of luck to you both, you'll be sorely missed.

Now this change means more than friends saying goodbye. They were executive members of our MAsT group and their shoes need filling. elle and I have been asked to join the committee and happily we agreed. It took us a year a half to really meet like-minded folk here that are living M/s. I don’t want to go without that connection again. Joining MAsT has helped us make incredible strides in our relationship and we have created and continue to build upon the strong foundation that we were struggling with for so long. Being around others in the lifestyle has really helped keep this much more of a focus for us.

So we are joining the committee and shortly will figure out what that will involve and where we can throw our heads together to continue to grow this group. The side of this that makes me apprehensive is...I may have to talk more! Unfortunately, I'm being serious. I wouldn't say that I'm shy, I'm just quiet. I have opinions but tend to keep them to myself, most of the time. The same with ideas. Small talk, forget it. I may have to work on not just keeping it all to myself with this though, if I want to be an actual useful person to have in the group, which is preferable. elle sees something in me that has led her to start calling me Master now and then, so I must have something worth offering to the group at large.

I do feel like we have been through enough trials and tribulations in setting the ground work for a lasting M/s life together that we do bring a good deal of knowledge to the table. I know of lot a ways to fail at this relationship but we are still going strong, so that must mean I have also figured out a thing or two that keeps it going. Being active members on the committee, I hope will make this lifestyle an even larger part of our daily lives. Not only will we be going to monthly meetings but we will be planning meetings and reaching out to members of the community, researching and broadening our knowledge and hopefully our friendships as well. Yeah, I'll probably have to talk more but the upside of it all makes it seems like a pretty insignificant worry.

On a different note, but something mentioned above, elle has started calling me Master. Not all the time, but here and there and I must say, it's thrilling to hear. I haven't reached the point where I fully accept that title as something that I feel comfortable calling myself, but to know that she obviously feels I have reached that point, that I have earned my Master stripes in the eyes of my slave, now that is heart thumping and mind tingling. It took us...er, me, so long to figure my shit out, I thought I would never make it as a Dom and now I am hearing Master!

I finally feel after all these years, that I may been growing and able to confidently say I own a slave without it feeling like just  a bunch of letters thrown together void any real truth behind it. I own a slave! I own a slave! I'm still pretty awful with this at times when I let the focus slip because something else is getting in the way, but now it takes only a short time to get back on track rather than before when we would have to start trying to build a new track from scratch each time. Now we just pull a couple weeds and the track is clear again.

Nothing to See Here

So I'm not too sure what I am here writing about today but since it has been over a month since either myself or Lee has published anything I though that I should attempt something.

A quick recap on the baby-makin' front- we had our first insemination last month which was unsuccessful but earlier this week we had our second, which we think will have better chances of being successful (I had 3 eggs developing this time as opposed to only 1 last time, but that also means that there's a chance of having multiples).

Other than baby stuff and work we haven't been doing too much. It was pride a few weeks ago so we went to a couple of the events and the parade but that's about it though really. Lee has been trying to get our garden growing, which after so many years of neglect from previous tenants, is taking a monumental effort! About 10 days ago I took three days and cooked and baked a whole bunch of stuff for the freezer so that I/we can have quick/easy meals that are still mostly healthy on days that I work and don't feel like cooking. That was a feat! I ran out of room in my freezers so I had to quit before I had made everything! Next time I will try to plan better, both my time and the amount of food I will make. This was the first time that I have tried to do anything on this scale before, in the past i have made a couple of casseroles or the like and froze them individually portioned but that was for work lunches mostly. I like knowing that I can still serve Sir a decent dinner after work when I'm tired or that She has things that She can pull out on the evenings that I work.

On to the kinky stuff then...

The other day Lee told me that this weekend we're going to go over the rules and if we think I am ready for Her to increase the corrective action if/when I break a rule. Most of them I would say that I am ready for the increase. There have been a few that I have struggled with though. I think the hardest ones for me are remembering to ask permission before leaving the room and asking permission before eating a sweet/treat item (especially when Lee's not around). When we had that rule a few years ago I did fairly well with it so I'm not sure why I am struggling with it now. I kind of think that having a "bigger" punishment for infractions will help me remember better.

We haven't had much for play time lately and with possibly being pregnant that puts more restrictions on what we can do. Although, when we were at The Ball last weekend we watched a few rope/suspension scenes that we both enjoyed. Neither of us have had any real desire to "learn rope" and until recently. Since we have been actively trying for a baby and trying to figure out ways that we will be able to play still while I am being an incubator the topic of rope has come up. For me, the draw is the restriction/bondage aspects of it. (I imagine it's probably the same for most bottoms?) I haven't asked Lee what it is exactly that draws Her to rope but I'm guessing that it is probably similar to me (but from the other side, obviously). Since neither of us have any experience with rope I'm not sure how to get started, a book or two and/or the internet I guess? And find some decent rope to start playing with I imagine.

The one new thing that has been coming up lately is a desire in me to "top" someone. Just in play mind you. I have had similar desires before but not to the extent or explicitness that I have been feeling lately. There have been a few occasions lately where I just want to beat on someone. The feeling goes beyond just being playful. I don't really understand where the feelings are coming from and don't know what to do about it since I don't have anybody to beat on. I really wish I had a group of subs/slaves that I could talk to about this like I did in Victoria.

I have been contemplating trying to start a submissive women's group here for that and many other reasons. I keep going back and forth about whether I have time for it, and since i am relatively unknown here I don't know if people would question if I have what it takes to be in charge of a group like that. I know how I would like the group to operate and I have come up with a list of a few topic ideas for meetings already. I have been thinking of messaging the woman who is the leader of the subby women's group that I was a part of in Victoria to see if she has any advice to offer.

Well, I think that's all for today. I'll try to write again soon.