"How's your pussy feeling slut?" Madam purrs in her knowing voice. It's been three days and she has filled her girl's cunt five times, ramming into the wet, warm tunnel with her thick, purple silicone cock.
"It hurts Ma'am." The girl quietly replies while her eyelashes lower and her head tips forward in an attempt to hide the blush of her cheeks. She knows that her pussy is not really hers, it is there for Madam's pleasure and lately it has pleased Madam to use and abuse her hole until it burns with exquisite pain. Over and over the rough treatment has left her insides throbbing with each thrust as she gasps and groans, trying to hold back the tears. She fears she can't take much more.
"Good, spread your legs…"
Slut shutters, her eyes wide with fear as they lock on Madam's. "No! Please Ma'am…" she starts to plead.
"Please what?" A smile creeps onto Madam's face as she crosses her arms over her chest, her feet firmly planted not about to budge.
"It hurts Ma'am. I can't…"
Silence fills the room as Madam stares at her girl. With her head slightly tilted and the corner of her mouth still quirked in a smile, Madam watches the internal struggle dance within her girls eyes.
"I…" sluts eyes slowly lower back to the floor in resignation, knowing she is nobody until Madam says she is somebody. "Please Madam, use my holes for your pleasure." Again her voice is quiet, she has once more found her place and slowly lowers herself to the bed, spreading her legs like a good girl.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Work kills the Domme in Me
Sometimes I find it very hard to feel Dommely when other areas of My life seem so out of My control that I am frustrated, depressed, or just plain tired. Take My work for example. I sell shoes. My wage is commission based and so there is a lot of pressure I put on Myself to sell, sell, sell, without being one of those super annoying, pushy sales people...I don't really have the personality for that anyway. When I first started, My mom didn't think I would do very well because I am quiet and not really a social person, but she was wrong and nearly every month I have ranked second for sales in the company, which is quite impressive considering the number one position has been held by a guy that has been working for this company for twelve years!
But I hate My job. A job that has Me judging My self worth based on My daily sales is not enjoyable. I know there is a lot more to My worth than how I do during those eight hours, five days a week, but when those hours dictate My income and whether bills will be easy to pay or debt will just continue hanging over our heads it's hard to separate and not see Myself as a failure when those days go poorly. And when they go poorly so, it seems, does My control over elle. If she fights against My control when I'm in a mood, then I more often than not just drop it rather than pushing through like I do other times. I'm not sure how to separate My work irritation from My ability to control My slave.
On the bad work days, I just want to come home and curl up in My girls arms and have her take it all away. But usually our bad days over lap and I brush aside what I'm feeling to try to comfort her. It makes Me temporarily better to be able to make her feel better, but then I never fully deal with what I'm feeling. It just builds and builds until I am so frustrated at work that I just want to start beating My wishy-washy, time wasting, "you are my servant" thinking customers with the shoes I'm desperately needing to sell them! Going postal? No. Going commissioned sales clerk, more like. If only we sold stilettoes!
I would love to be a writer or photographer instead, but that's not practical. Maybe once elle is working full time as a nurse, I can just work part time somewhere and write part time, but that would have to be like five years down the road once debt was cleared and all we needed to worry about where current bills and not crap left behind by exes and My doormat days. Oh ain't life grand.
I'm not really sure what My point for this post really was. I know I bitch and complain in My posts far more than I want to be. I want to just write about how amazing our D/s is and it really is getting better and better, with a step back now and then, but I'm back to work tomorrow and I'm already dreading another week there. If I knew what to take, I would go back to school if I really felt a draw to something that I knew I would follow through with. I look into the trades ever few months thinking I should just be a plumber or electrician, but really would I be any happier doing anything like that. I couldn't say. I'll be thirty in three weeks, I've gone through college twice, and still I'm working a job that I could have gotten fresh out of high school.
I do have an amazing wife that willingly submits her heart, body, mind and soul to Me which I am eternally thankful and grateful for. She is My slave and even just last night, pushed My head down to perform oral on her when she felt that was what I wanted to do but knew I wouldn't do because it is more or less a limit for her. She happily suffered through such an act because it was for My pleasure and I know that was a huge move of submission for her. Obviously life isn't all bad, when I have a girl like My slave elle!
But I hate My job. A job that has Me judging My self worth based on My daily sales is not enjoyable. I know there is a lot more to My worth than how I do during those eight hours, five days a week, but when those hours dictate My income and whether bills will be easy to pay or debt will just continue hanging over our heads it's hard to separate and not see Myself as a failure when those days go poorly. And when they go poorly so, it seems, does My control over elle. If she fights against My control when I'm in a mood, then I more often than not just drop it rather than pushing through like I do other times. I'm not sure how to separate My work irritation from My ability to control My slave.
On the bad work days, I just want to come home and curl up in My girls arms and have her take it all away. But usually our bad days over lap and I brush aside what I'm feeling to try to comfort her. It makes Me temporarily better to be able to make her feel better, but then I never fully deal with what I'm feeling. It just builds and builds until I am so frustrated at work that I just want to start beating My wishy-washy, time wasting, "you are my servant" thinking customers with the shoes I'm desperately needing to sell them! Going postal? No. Going commissioned sales clerk, more like. If only we sold stilettoes!
I would love to be a writer or photographer instead, but that's not practical. Maybe once elle is working full time as a nurse, I can just work part time somewhere and write part time, but that would have to be like five years down the road once debt was cleared and all we needed to worry about where current bills and not crap left behind by exes and My doormat days. Oh ain't life grand.
I'm not really sure what My point for this post really was. I know I bitch and complain in My posts far more than I want to be. I want to just write about how amazing our D/s is and it really is getting better and better, with a step back now and then, but I'm back to work tomorrow and I'm already dreading another week there. If I knew what to take, I would go back to school if I really felt a draw to something that I knew I would follow through with. I look into the trades ever few months thinking I should just be a plumber or electrician, but really would I be any happier doing anything like that. I couldn't say. I'll be thirty in three weeks, I've gone through college twice, and still I'm working a job that I could have gotten fresh out of high school.
I do have an amazing wife that willingly submits her heart, body, mind and soul to Me which I am eternally thankful and grateful for. She is My slave and even just last night, pushed My head down to perform oral on her when she felt that was what I wanted to do but knew I wouldn't do because it is more or less a limit for her. She happily suffered through such an act because it was for My pleasure and I know that was a huge move of submission for her. Obviously life isn't all bad, when I have a girl like My slave elle!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Non-consent and makin' love
I am Master, she is slave.
Sometimes it takes her goading and fighting back for My full Master tendencies to appear. I feel I am at the stage in our dynamic where I am fully aware of who I am, but sometimes I need an "excuse" to release My full potential. Such as last night. I intended to use her holes as soon as I decided to start touching her, but I didn't have any plans of a non-consent scene until she started fighting back. She wouldn't stop and instead of ordering her to stop, I decided showing her, her place would be much more fun and effective in controlling her.
This was the first such scene where I felt the struggle for power in earnest. I know she started fighting just to have a little fun and to get Me going. she wanted Me to take before she would give, though she admitted after she had no idea it would go that far. After a while though, I feel like the struggle was much more real for both of us. My brain switched from "oh, you wanna fight do ya" to "that bitch is gonna get it!" Lol, while being safe and fully aware of her reactions and such, of course.
When we first started on this kinky path, I read about Domme space and never really believed it because it didn't seem like I got anything close to what others described. Lately though, especially with some of our more intense play that really has elle begging and pleading, I've been feeling more and more giddy-like with power, and afterwards I find that it feels quite like a dream when I think back on what happened. It's kind of tunnel vision-esk. I think about last night and I can see it happening and remember that while it was, nothing else existed. I was in it %100 and I just knew that I had to conquer her, knew that I could, and had every right to.
That's right, I said "I had every right to rape My wife." she was misbehaving, even if just playing, and didn't just spread her legs for Me, so after a struggle I forced My fingers into her holes to show they were mine. It wasn't just because I felt like fucking her anymore, it was to make her feel completely owned by Me. Owned and loved to the point that it was in both our best interest for Me to follow through to such an extent and remind her of her place.
And then...and then, when it was all said and done, and she was coming down, she asked me in a very timid voice to make love to her! How wonderful is that. I rape My wife and not ten minutes later does she ask Me to hold her in My arms and make love to her. Getting deeper and deeper into this dynamic just shows the scope of our relationship and how close it brings us. I know this is not for everyone, but for those of us that are in the lifestyle, I feel we have a profound advantage for relationship success when so many raw emotions and actions can be expressed and shared. Nothing is left inside to fester when feelings can be released in such a way.
elle, I don't remember ever thanking you for taking the brave step of broaching the subject of BDSM with Me a year ago, but thank you so much for doing so. It is taking Me some time to come into My own on this, but I feel like I am finally starting to really feel My place here and I truly think it has made our relationship ten time better than I ever though possible with anyone. I love you so much, sometimes only actions can speak so deeply.
Sometimes it takes her goading and fighting back for My full Master tendencies to appear. I feel I am at the stage in our dynamic where I am fully aware of who I am, but sometimes I need an "excuse" to release My full potential. Such as last night. I intended to use her holes as soon as I decided to start touching her, but I didn't have any plans of a non-consent scene until she started fighting back. She wouldn't stop and instead of ordering her to stop, I decided showing her, her place would be much more fun and effective in controlling her.
This was the first such scene where I felt the struggle for power in earnest. I know she started fighting just to have a little fun and to get Me going. she wanted Me to take before she would give, though she admitted after she had no idea it would go that far. After a while though, I feel like the struggle was much more real for both of us. My brain switched from "oh, you wanna fight do ya" to "that bitch is gonna get it!" Lol, while being safe and fully aware of her reactions and such, of course.
When we first started on this kinky path, I read about Domme space and never really believed it because it didn't seem like I got anything close to what others described. Lately though, especially with some of our more intense play that really has elle begging and pleading, I've been feeling more and more giddy-like with power, and afterwards I find that it feels quite like a dream when I think back on what happened. It's kind of tunnel vision-esk. I think about last night and I can see it happening and remember that while it was, nothing else existed. I was in it %100 and I just knew that I had to conquer her, knew that I could, and had every right to.
That's right, I said "I had every right to rape My wife." she was misbehaving, even if just playing, and didn't just spread her legs for Me, so after a struggle I forced My fingers into her holes to show they were mine. It wasn't just because I felt like fucking her anymore, it was to make her feel completely owned by Me. Owned and loved to the point that it was in both our best interest for Me to follow through to such an extent and remind her of her place.
And then...and then, when it was all said and done, and she was coming down, she asked me in a very timid voice to make love to her! How wonderful is that. I rape My wife and not ten minutes later does she ask Me to hold her in My arms and make love to her. Getting deeper and deeper into this dynamic just shows the scope of our relationship and how close it brings us. I know this is not for everyone, but for those of us that are in the lifestyle, I feel we have a profound advantage for relationship success when so many raw emotions and actions can be expressed and shared. Nothing is left inside to fester when feelings can be released in such a way.
elle, I don't remember ever thanking you for taking the brave step of broaching the subject of BDSM with Me a year ago, but thank you so much for doing so. It is taking Me some time to come into My own on this, but I feel like I am finally starting to really feel My place here and I truly think it has made our relationship ten time better than I ever though possible with anyone. I love you so much, sometimes only actions can speak so deeply.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
i am Her slave
i think last night Madam was teaching me what it means to be Her slave. I think She pretty much succeeded.
Last night was supposed to be a play night, we were going to have a high protocol scene. I met Madam at work, dressed in a short black skirt , a pink lacy camisole-style top with my pink and orange high heels. We talked and got caught up a bit since we hadn't seen each other since Thursday. Madam asked me if i wanted to or if I'd just prefer we just hang out on the couch and snuggle since it was our only night together this week due to work schedules. i told Her that i'd like to just snuggle and maybe have some "fun in the bedroom" (hint, hint!!). After dinner I served us some coffee and the last of the peach blueberry crisp that i had made on Thursday (that didn't take long to go through, next time i'll have to make a double!!).
Not long after we finished dessert Madam started grabbing at me, my ass, my boobies, what ever She could get Her hands on really. Since my skirt was so short, it made it pretty easy for Her to see and grab at my neither regions. i kept jokingly pushing Her away and telling Her "No!". We played like this for a while the intensity kept building, She started holding my hands back and i kept egging Her on. At some point i managed to sneak free and ran into the kitchen, grabbed a spatula and started swinging. She met my spatula with a whisk and we had a "sword fight" with our kitchen utensils. Eventually She wrestled the spatula away from me and managed to pin me to the ground on my hands and knees. She started spanking me, i crawled away and got up but She followed. We played cat and mouse for a few minutes then somehow i ended up back on my hands and knees pinned to the ground.
She asked me who i was, i replied with my full name. "No! you are slave elle, sometimes just slave" i believe was Her answer. She asked again, and again i replied with my full name. i was being a defiant little slave, i wasn't going to give in without a fight. We went back and forth a few times like this until She announced that She was going to teach me my place and yanked up my skirt and pulled my pink lace panties down to my ankles. She shoved Her fingers ruthlessly into my pussy while telling me who i was to Her. my no's fell on deaf ears. i managed to break free again but not for long and soon i was back on the ground on my knees and face. Her fingers violently entered first my pussy again then as Madam put it "to teach me that both my holes are for Her to use when and how She wants" my ass. She only stopped when She heard the reply She wanted "i am slave elle and you are Master Lee". My pussy was sore but my clit was throbbing…. and soaking wet!!As i lay on the floor of the living room quivering and coming down, my loving Master covered me with a blanket, fed me chocolate and laid with me until i was okay again.
Then i asked Her something that i think surprised Her…"will You make love to me?" and of course She agreed. We moved into our bedroom and She held me in Her strong arms while we made love and i climaxed over and over again. I felt so close to Her, so loved, so wanted.
We talked for a bit about what happened. Lee admitted that non-consent has become much easier for Her, that She no longer feels guilty for forcing Herself upon me, which i'm glad to hear. i apologized for trying to get Her to "rape" me when we started this thing we do, when She wasn't comfortable.
Why do i think She was trying to teach me what it means to be Her slave? i can't really explain it, it's just a feeling i have but i'll try. i think it helped me surrender not only my body but my heart and soul to her. The resistance to giving up total control that i feel sometimes seems to have shed another layer and i am getting that much closer to being a better slave for my Master. She held my very life in Her hands and used that power to reinforce how much She loves me by showing that She wants to control me. She wants to control me because She wants to make sure that i am making the right choices, that i am safe and that i am well taken care of. By controlling me She shows me that She loves me, in a similar way that a parent does with a young child.Does any of this make sense? i hope so cause i don't know if i can explain it any better! lol
Well, i've got to go start getting ready for work.
Thank you Ma'am for a night i will never forget! i love You!!!
Last night was supposed to be a play night, we were going to have a high protocol scene. I met Madam at work, dressed in a short black skirt , a pink lacy camisole-style top with my pink and orange high heels. We talked and got caught up a bit since we hadn't seen each other since Thursday. Madam asked me if i wanted to or if I'd just prefer we just hang out on the couch and snuggle since it was our only night together this week due to work schedules. i told Her that i'd like to just snuggle and maybe have some "fun in the bedroom" (hint, hint!!). After dinner I served us some coffee and the last of the peach blueberry crisp that i had made on Thursday (that didn't take long to go through, next time i'll have to make a double!!).
Not long after we finished dessert Madam started grabbing at me, my ass, my boobies, what ever She could get Her hands on really. Since my skirt was so short, it made it pretty easy for Her to see and grab at my neither regions. i kept jokingly pushing Her away and telling Her "No!". We played like this for a while the intensity kept building, She started holding my hands back and i kept egging Her on. At some point i managed to sneak free and ran into the kitchen, grabbed a spatula and started swinging. She met my spatula with a whisk and we had a "sword fight" with our kitchen utensils. Eventually She wrestled the spatula away from me and managed to pin me to the ground on my hands and knees. She started spanking me, i crawled away and got up but She followed. We played cat and mouse for a few minutes then somehow i ended up back on my hands and knees pinned to the ground.
She asked me who i was, i replied with my full name. "No! you are slave elle, sometimes just slave" i believe was Her answer. She asked again, and again i replied with my full name. i was being a defiant little slave, i wasn't going to give in without a fight. We went back and forth a few times like this until She announced that She was going to teach me my place and yanked up my skirt and pulled my pink lace panties down to my ankles. She shoved Her fingers ruthlessly into my pussy while telling me who i was to Her. my no's fell on deaf ears. i managed to break free again but not for long and soon i was back on the ground on my knees and face. Her fingers violently entered first my pussy again then as Madam put it "to teach me that both my holes are for Her to use when and how She wants" my ass. She only stopped when She heard the reply She wanted "i am slave elle and you are Master Lee". My pussy was sore but my clit was throbbing…. and soaking wet!!As i lay on the floor of the living room quivering and coming down, my loving Master covered me with a blanket, fed me chocolate and laid with me until i was okay again.
Then i asked Her something that i think surprised Her…"will You make love to me?" and of course She agreed. We moved into our bedroom and She held me in Her strong arms while we made love and i climaxed over and over again. I felt so close to Her, so loved, so wanted.
We talked for a bit about what happened. Lee admitted that non-consent has become much easier for Her, that She no longer feels guilty for forcing Herself upon me, which i'm glad to hear. i apologized for trying to get Her to "rape" me when we started this thing we do, when She wasn't comfortable.
Why do i think She was trying to teach me what it means to be Her slave? i can't really explain it, it's just a feeling i have but i'll try. i think it helped me surrender not only my body but my heart and soul to her. The resistance to giving up total control that i feel sometimes seems to have shed another layer and i am getting that much closer to being a better slave for my Master. She held my very life in Her hands and used that power to reinforce how much She loves me by showing that She wants to control me. She wants to control me because She wants to make sure that i am making the right choices, that i am safe and that i am well taken care of. By controlling me She shows me that She loves me, in a similar way that a parent does with a young child.Does any of this make sense? i hope so cause i don't know if i can explain it any better! lol
Well, i've got to go start getting ready for work.
Thank you Ma'am for a night i will never forget! i love You!!!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
D/s, M/s, What's the Diff?
Lee and I have had a few discussions in the past about "advancing into" a Master and slave dynamic. We even tried for a while, then things kinda fell apart, which is what prompted the discussion that we had last week. Before Madam and i had our talk last week i had hoped that it was going to be the re-start of the M/s, so to speak. You see, I have always identified as more of a slave than submissive but i didn't outwardly identify as that because Lee had made it clear that She wasn’t ready to own a slave. i was so thrilled that Lee was finally ready to accept me as Her slave, i didn't care if it was really what was best for us, if we were ready for that kind of commitment.
She decided that we needed to work more on firming up our D/s before "advancing" to a M/s relationship. i'm not going to lie, i was disappointed for selfish reasons. Just as i agreed to be Her slave before for selfish reasons. Then like two days later, in the middle of a scene She asked me to be Her slave. i wish i could remember Her exact words because i remember that they were beautiful. i, of course, said yes. When i asked Her later what made Her change Her mind she said it just felt right at the time. Which makes me worry that She was just caught up in the moment and had disregarded what ever Her reasons were to hold back before. i mean, nothing had changed. Nothing that i was aware of at least. i'm also worried that She rushed into this for me.
All of this has got me thinking as to what would/will change in our relationship in M/s vs. D/s? i mean, we already live 24/7, though it may not be complete TPE it's pretty darned close, close enough for what we/She wants. i even took Her last name when we got married!
I really don't know what I've gotten myself into by agreeing to be Lee's slave
i know, i know, i need to just accept what She says at face value and stop trying to find ulterior motives and meanings behind things. My problem is that I'm just like a toddler, I always want to know why. Why did you do that, decide that, etc.? That's probably my biggest hurdle to becoming a better slave. It's not just with Madam that I do it, as far as I can remember I've always been like this (I think that's why I love to read so much and always want to learn new things).
*~*~*~*
i've been a busy girl the last few days. On Thursday i peeled, sliced and froze about 11 pounds of peaches and made a peach and blueberry crisp as well as my chores. Yesterday i made two pans of peach muffins before going to work. i'm off today but i hope to get a few extra chores done cause i'm working tomorrow to Thursday, all evenings so i can't really do much when i get home because Lee will already be in bed and i don't think Her or the neighbours would appreciate it if i started vacuuming at one o'clock in the morning!!
Madam and i have to talk about our move again soon as i've finally found out more info about transferring my LPN license to Manitoba. After all the fretting and worrying that i did, it sounds like it shouldn't be difficult at all! i've been thinking of going back to school to become a RN. There are two schools in Winnipeg that offer the RN program and i have a family member who went to one and now teaches at the other so i have emailed her to see if she can offer any insight into which would be my better choice. So i guess the moving discussion will probably wait until i hear from her.
Well, i've gotta get going on my chores. Lee will be home in about six hours and because i worked last night, i got to sleep in so i haven't even started them at all yet :(
If anyone can provide me with some insight about the sub/slave Domme/Master differences would be lovely!!!
She decided that we needed to work more on firming up our D/s before "advancing" to a M/s relationship. i'm not going to lie, i was disappointed for selfish reasons. Just as i agreed to be Her slave before for selfish reasons. Then like two days later, in the middle of a scene She asked me to be Her slave. i wish i could remember Her exact words because i remember that they were beautiful. i, of course, said yes. When i asked Her later what made Her change Her mind she said it just felt right at the time. Which makes me worry that She was just caught up in the moment and had disregarded what ever Her reasons were to hold back before. i mean, nothing had changed. Nothing that i was aware of at least. i'm also worried that She rushed into this for me.
All of this has got me thinking as to what would/will change in our relationship in M/s vs. D/s? i mean, we already live 24/7, though it may not be complete TPE it's pretty darned close, close enough for what we/She wants. i even took Her last name when we got married!
I really don't know what I've gotten myself into by agreeing to be Lee's slave
i know, i know, i need to just accept what She says at face value and stop trying to find ulterior motives and meanings behind things. My problem is that I'm just like a toddler, I always want to know why. Why did you do that, decide that, etc.? That's probably my biggest hurdle to becoming a better slave. It's not just with Madam that I do it, as far as I can remember I've always been like this (I think that's why I love to read so much and always want to learn new things).
*~*~*~*
i've been a busy girl the last few days. On Thursday i peeled, sliced and froze about 11 pounds of peaches and made a peach and blueberry crisp as well as my chores. Yesterday i made two pans of peach muffins before going to work. i'm off today but i hope to get a few extra chores done cause i'm working tomorrow to Thursday, all evenings so i can't really do much when i get home because Lee will already be in bed and i don't think Her or the neighbours would appreciate it if i started vacuuming at one o'clock in the morning!!
Madam and i have to talk about our move again soon as i've finally found out more info about transferring my LPN license to Manitoba. After all the fretting and worrying that i did, it sounds like it shouldn't be difficult at all! i've been thinking of going back to school to become a RN. There are two schools in Winnipeg that offer the RN program and i have a family member who went to one and now teaches at the other so i have emailed her to see if she can offer any insight into which would be my better choice. So i guess the moving discussion will probably wait until i hear from her.
Well, i've gotta get going on my chores. Lee will be home in about six hours and because i worked last night, i got to sleep in so i haven't even started them at all yet :(
If anyone can provide me with some insight about the sub/slave Domme/Master differences would be lovely!!!
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