Changes are happening

Lee and i have decided that we need to make some adjustments to the way we have been operating. For the last few days we even paused the D/s part of our relationship, last night was the first time i have worn Her collar since Saturday.

We jumped into 24/7 very quickly without giving ourselves and each other time to adjust to the huge changes that power exchange has on a couple, especially one that had been vanilla to start with. Neither one of us were "naturals" in our roles, as i have mentioned time and time again, so there was/is a steep learning curve involved as well.

Last night we had a really good talk about where to go from here. Lee has been busy the last few days reading and trying to come up with a "game plan" for us. We have decided to take a big step back and really focus building a stronger more stable foundation that we can build on. We are going to concentrate our efforts on things that Lee and i feel are important to our dynamic and toss the stuff that we thought was important in the beginning but turns out means little to nothing to either one of us.

For now we are going to leave the rules that we had posted on this blog up but we are not following them for the most part. In case you care to see what rituals/protocols/rules we have i am going to post an update on that page.

One thing we didn't talk about too much was how me going back to work is going to affect things like chores. When i was at work the last two days Lee did them but i would like to get into a routine of doing them myself more once i get used to working again (holy crap am i not used to it right now lol!!!). Of course i will probably need Her help once in a while but if we’re both working then those responsibilities will fall to me more so.


Getting to kneel before Madam and say my mantra this morning was such an incredible feeling, i have missed it so much and realize now how much i took what She did do for granted. i was so focused on what she/i/we weren't doing the way i wanted that i overlooked what we were doing that i enjoyed. i need to (and am going to work much harder to) keep that in mind when i feel like things aren't 100%. Just because some things aren't perfect doesn't meant that everything is terrible. i am trying to work on that attitude for not only our dynamic but in general as i have a tendency to "throw the baby out with the bath water".

So if you’re interested the update please check it out on the page that has been re-titled Rules, Rituals and Protocols.

Oh and one other thing... We're going to our first play party-Domlander-this weekend! We don't plan on playing, we're just going to see the show, socialize and watch others play. (there's a fashion show and comedic competition before the actual play party) i promise to give a review of how it went ;)

And, as always, please feel free to leave comments, suggestions or questions on this or any other post. And if you like what you read here please follow or subscribe to our blog.

Ranting and Updating and Goals! Oh, my!

What to say... what to say...?

One of my rules is that i have to blog twice a week and it's Thursday and i haven't blogged once yet this week. i have been a busy little sub- baking, meal planning, cleaning, getting my resume updated and so on and so on.

i think i'm going to start off with a bit of a rant today. i am a member of a few submissive groups on Fetlife and i have been noticing lately that so many women (and men i guess but it seems to be more so the women) think that there is one "way" to be a sub/slave (herein known as s-type), have a D/s relationship, please their Mater/Mistress (herein known as M-type), etc. i get so frustrated and shout at my computer screen which i realize doesn't help anything but i cannot for the life of me understand why so many probably very intelligent women think there is one way?!?! Yes there are how-to books, but they are mostly suggestions and if something isn't right for you or your relationship then modify it or don't do it. It won't make you less of a s-type if you don't enjoy cooking for your Master/Mistress or if you aren't a masochist or what ever it is you think you are "supposed to do" if you and your M-type have agreed that is isn't right for the two (or more, if you're poly) of you, there are no kinky police who will come and throw you in jail if you don't do certain things. Ok, for things like flogging, caning or other actual play activities, yes there are right and wrong ways for safety reasons but last time i checked the s-type doesn;t usually do those things anyways. Chill out, you're not "doing it" wrong!!! AARRGGAAH!!! i have never really thought that Lee and i had to do anything we didn't want to. i have a bad knee- when it's bad i don't kneel, i sit cross-legged. i also get pretty bad headaches-when i do i'm relieved from doing my more intensive tasks, or putting them off for another day. And guess what? Lee doesn't punish me for sitting cross-legged, having a headache, not being able to do laundry cause the machines were all full...sometimes things are out of a person's control. i mentioned that maybe the reason that we never felt like we had to conform is because of the fact that we are lesbians and are used to not doing things the way society says is correct/normal but like i said i have never felt like i/we must do anything we didn't want to (except my tasks-some days i really don't feel like doing them but alas i must lol!)



OK i've said it. i'm done ranting...for today lol!! if anyone has anything to add or would like to counter what i have said please leave a comment.

The bumps that Madam and i were experiencing are smoothing out quite nicely. She has done an amazing job of stepping up to the plate and giving me a Madam to submit to. We have work to do yet but we are headed in the right direction

Madam has found two new ways of reminding me that i am Hers.

The first is one that neither of us thought that we would do let alone like enough to add to our regular routine. What is it you ask? Madam has begun marking me with Her urine on days that i shower with Her. i kneel in the bottom of the tub and while Her warm stream runs over my back i feel myself falling deeper and deeper into my place as Her property. It started after i was acting very feisty the other day and She decided to show me that as Her property She can do anything She wanted to. Now i know that we have it in our hard limits, but we had talked a bit about it and i had mentioned that i would be up for trying it as i thought it would make me feel very owned but i really didn't think Lee was into the idea at all. i love it and think it is helping me feel more owned through the day, kind of like the maintenance spankings (but since we do those just before bed i don't find their affect carries through to the next day).


The other way is through wearing bells on my ankle cuffs so i can hear each step i take. i know there are many subs who only have a necklace, bracelett or other "vanilla looking" "collar" but i love the reminders. Maybe that's cause we're still new at this and i need the more physical stuff right now. i love having all my senses reminded of Madam's ownership of me. So now i am reminded through sight, touch, smell (i can smell the leather of my collar sometimes, especially when i've been working hard-incentive to work hard? maybe!!) and sound. i am also reminded throughout the day mentally when i repeat my mantra.



We have been talking about me topping Lee for a scene. i have topped her before, in play and in a vanilla sense but not since i became Her sub. So... if anyone has any suggestions on how to maintain my submissive-ness while topping Madam, please throw them this way.

One other quick note, Madam and i have talked a bit about us working one day towards me becoming Her slave! i don't really know how that will happen but She has/is getting over the negative connitations She had about me being Her slave and i guess that's the first step. We both have a lot of growing to do before it happens but i'm glad to know that we have a long term goal to work towards as well as the shorter term ones.

Well, i think i've stalled the chores long enough and since i have another busy day i should probably end this here and get going on the tasks at hand. Oh the life of a sub!! But i wouldn't change if for anything.

My Birthday Present(s)

So yesterday was my birthday and as i mentioned in my last post Lee had ordered me not to cum on Monday afternoon until She told me i could last night (after begging Her to let me!!). I have been filled with Her cock for periods of up to 4 hours at a time as well during this time and on Thursday i was feeling particularly masochistic and wore clothespegs on my nipples for a while in the afternoon as well. Needless to say i have been on edge for days! i begged and pleaded with Her every day to be able to orgasm to no avail. At times i though it wouldn't be worth the wait, that i could have orgasms between Monday and yesterday and my birthday orgasm would still be phenomenal, which was probably true, except that Lee has explicitly told me that if i disobeyed Her she would extend the denial time until our anniversary in just over two weeks. Two weeks is far too long, i could hardly manage 100 hours!!!

I spent the afternoon with a good friend. We went for a hike (gotta love Victoria!!, where else in Canada could one go hiking in January?), stopping along the trail to have a snack and a beer. It was really nice to see him and get out hiking which is something that i love and wish i could do more of.

Before leaving to go out for birthday dinner Lee filled me with Her cock. We don't have a car and let me tell you there has never been a more simulating bus ride had than last night's! lol Once we got home i opened my gifts from my family and from Lee.

She got me The Story of O and a collar with an engraved name tag that says elle de Lee. i love my new collar, i had gone with Her when She went shopping for it so She could make sure it looked good on and that i liked it too but i had no idea about the tag. It's beautiful and i love it so much. i know many other 24/7 subs don't wear a collar except when they are playing but i love to and feel somewhat lost and naked without it on (like when i have to go in public and cannot wear a scarf to cover it, especially without Lee). my old collar was one something that we had bought when we were just playing in the bedroom and was actually a kid's leather belt that we had found in a second hand store and cut down and drilled extra holes in. So the new one is more than just a beautiful gift from Lee but it is MY first collar/Her mark meant for only me. i am officially owned and collared by Madam now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After Lee locked it on (which my old one never did and i really wanted in a new one-lock, that is) i was kind of scared and nervous to see it so She lead me to the bathroom and made me close my eyes until i was positioned in front of the mirror the way She wanted and was commanded to open my eyes. Tears of overwhelming joy filled my eyes as i looked at myself wearing Her new mark. i was so proud that She thought i was worthy enough to have such a beautiful sign of Her ownership on me and that She chose my birthday to bless me with it.

Then we had cake. Now i love cake as much as the next gal, especially double chocolate fudge cake like that one was, but i could hardly taste it i was so high- i actually had some today and it tastes much better than i remember from last night!!

After we had cake, Madam led me into the bedroom and the fun really began. Madam started out with me having to count off 29 spankings, 29 canings and 29 thrusts of her cock. There was a whole bunch of other fun stuff between that and me begging Madam to put the clothespegs on my nipples, move Her cock into my ass and fuck my pussy with her finger. After a few minutes of experiencing all that She gave me permission to cum and i surprised myself by pushing Madam's face into my clit (i'm not sure if it surprised Madam as well but it's not something that i usually enjoy). So much stimulation all over my body, the pegs on my nipples Her cock in my ass, Her fingers in my pussy, Her tongue on my clit- i exploded hard! She had gagged me so i could scream and not have the neighbours hear, which was a good thing cause i'm sure they would have!! I became a whimpering pile of jello, twitching in aftershocks.

Was it worth the wait?? my answer is a most resounding YES it was definitely was. Madam has informed me that She intends to fill me again for days on end and deny me the pleasure of orgasm, this time probably for a longer period of time and without me knowing when release is coming. Do i want to do it again? Well, i must do as Madam wishes/commands but yes i would do it again in a heartbeat and She knows that.

Thank you Poppi for the most memorable birthday Your little girl could ask for. Every time i've heard the tag on my collar jingle or lowered my head and felt the still leather press into my chin and throat i think of how lucky this girl is to be owned by such a wonderful and loving woman as You.