Update

Lately things around here have been pretty busy. i've been packing and getting us organized for moving. Last week Lee's mom was here visiting us. While she was here she helped us take our four cats to the vet. Lee and i have been going to places and doing things that we want to get done before leaving Victoria. She only has 2 more weeks of work left then we have a few days to go hiking one last time on my favorite trail (we're still deciding if we have time to make it an overnight) and do a few other things. i've also been busy with my course.

On the kink side of life, there hasn't been much time for that unfortunately. The other day i surprised Lee when she came home from work dressed sexy. We had a great evening of sex. i begged Lee to fist me which She happily obliged. Hopefully we will have time before we move to do the interrogation scene that we have been talking about.

Well, that's about all for now. i'll try to write again soon.

Moving Plans

There is only six weeks until we move.

We are doing well for savings. The more the better though, right?
Our flights are booked.
We only need to get one more kennel for the cats.
We are going to keep our sleeping bags unpacked and just sleep here on the floor the last night rather than going to a hotel as we had first planned so that will save us a bit of money.
It looks like i  should be getting my new licence any day now so then i can start applying for jobs. i guess i need to work on my resume.
We are going to take all of the cats to the vet when Lee's mom is here for a visit in a few weeks so we don't have to take them on the bus.
We have started to look at places online and my mom has agreed to go look at a place if we find one we really think we might like. Lee really wants to find a house or a duplex with a basement.
i have packed a few boxes, just books, but i have started.

There are a few things we want to do/see here before we move so we need to make a plan of action for that.

The time is going to fly and i need to get more organized or soon things are really going  to pile upon me. i am also taking an online class right now so that needs my attention too.

Oh yeah, and there's that interrogation scene that we are planning. It's happening next week.

Polyamory

Why am i interested in polyamory? What benefits do i see it having on our relationship? This is this week's assigned topic.

Before i answer Lee's question i though it would be best to mention how Lee and i envision our poly relationship. i'm sure that i've mentioned before that Lee and i have talked about one day having a third woman join our relationship but i don't know how detailed i have described our ideal situation. So here it is. We want someone who would want to be in a closed poly relationship (i think that's the term... what i mean is that it would be a three way relationship, no outside romantic partners, maybe non-sexual play partners, we haven't quite decided on that yet). Our ideal woman would be a sub with some switching tendencies or a switch that usually bottoms. We envision the sleeping arrangement as Lee having the primary bedroom and our partner and i would share a second bedroom. Our partner and i would alternate each night between the two rooms, so one of would would be with Lee while the other has the second bedroom and then trade the next night. Lee has said that She would want both of us to sleep with Her on occasion too. Working and household responsibilities are kind of up in the air and depends on what our partner did career wise and how service orientated they were.

So on to answering Lee's question...

i think that the biggest reason that i am interested in pursuing  a poly relationship is the additional emotional support. With an additional person around when one of us is having a bad day there are more people to give support. This also means that the burden of being the "supporter" is shared. Lee and i don't have a large circle of friends and having another person in an intimate relationship would be nice.

Money may not be everything but let's be honest, it is definitely nice to be financially well off. Having a third person in a household meas that we could have at least two full time incomes, maybe even two full time and one part time and still maintain our household the way that Lee wants.

And then there are the sexual benefits. A new person brings new ideas and experiences. She may have new techniques, scene ideas, etc. that Lee or i haven't thought of. She may also push boundaries further than we are currently comfortable with (in a good way). Having a third person would open up new possibilities for scene ideas that are just not possible with only two people. Also, if one of is "in the mood" and the other isn't maybe our partner will be and there will be less stress in that regard.

submissive vs. slave

What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? This is the topic that Lee has asked me to write about this week. The problem is that i don't really know. i have said before that i identify more as a slave than submissive so i should know.

Before i start, i want to preface what i am about to say: these are only my opinions.  If you don't agree with part or all of it, that is fine. 

A submissive has more choice in submitting. They have more freedom to decide when and what they will submit themselves to. The submissive has their own limits and requirements for the relationship.

A slave agrees to submit to their Master at the beginning of their relationship and after that they have no choice but to obey all demands placed upon them. They have no limits except for what their Master decides for them.

Another way of looking at it is who has the final say- the Top/Dom/Master or the bottom/submissive/slave. If the Top has the final say, then the bottom is a slave, but if the bottom has the final say then they are a submissive.

i call myself a slave because i have given over control to Lee. She make the decisions in our relationship even if those decisions are to have me make choices. For example, She has told me that one of my duties is meal planning. i have the time to be able to spend on planning our daily meals and snacks, i know Her food preferences and i am good at organizing and preparing healthy, nutritious food. Lee has given me this duty knowing that it is something that i am good at doing. She has told me that, if is She wants or feels it is necessary, that She will review my plan but in general She trusts me to make the right choices for us. 

i'm going to end here. i know this is short but i think that i have captured my feelings and given Lee what She was looking for (and really, that's the important part!)

Controlling my Short Fuse

i have a short fuse.  Lee told me to write about ways to help reduce my outburst this week. 

i think that it has a lot to do with my illness ( i think have mentioned before that i have Borderline Personality Disorder). So by taking my medications will hopefully help reduce the frequency of the outbursts and the strength of them when i do have one.

I also have a problem with my pride which translates into not backing down when Lee and i have an argument.  i want to be right and will get very stubborn about holding my position.  i'm not sure how to change that. I think that i just need Lee to not back down and in time will learn.

I really don't know what to tell Her. I don't know how to stop my outbursts or diffuse them. Hmmm…. Let me think….

Ok, here's what i have come up with so far:

Have Lee remind me that She is in charge, won't accept this behavior, etc. when She sees that i am beginning to escalate;

Lee needs to stay in control during those times, i need to learn that i can't win by acting up;

Have a time out to calm down, with the order from Lee to think about what happened/why i am acting this way/something similar;

i think punishment would help me feel like  Lee is in charge (physically dominating me??), a hard spanking or some other physical punishment;

After the time out i need to apologize to Lee, which i hate to admit, i don't always do (there's that pride thing again).

Also, i wonder if praise or other rewards when i am being a good slave would re-enforce good behavior and therefore reduce  bad behavior?

Charting the outbursts (what lead up to it, what i did during and how it was resolved) may help me/Her/us see a pattern and be able to better understand why they happen and therefore be able to tailor a behavior modification plan towards the cause(s) and what worked to diffuse it.

i think i'm out ideas for now. Anyone have any suggestions?

Listening Skills

Something i need to work much harder on is listening to Lee when She tells me to do something that i don't want to do. i could go on and on listing examples, when we're out, when we're home, when i'm tired, when i'm mad……

For what ever reason, i get it in my head that what i want/say/need is priority at that moment. i need to get my own way.

i know it hurts Her when i don't listen and i feel awful afterwards. I can almost see Her ego taking the hit when i do, especially when we're in public and She "can't order me around".

I think that part of it is that i know that, for the most part, i will get  away with it. If Lee tries to challenge me, i spout off any number of reasons why i am in the right. And She usually relents.

i really don't know how to curb this horrible habit it but i know that i need to. i think that this could be one of those issues that could be a D/s deal breaker in the long run. i know that if i was in Her place i wouldn't put up with it for a second.

Getting Beaten

Yesterday afternoon Madam went to a couple of workshops about topping. Last night Lee played with me using some of the techniques She learned. Instead of using toys, She used Her body to give me pain.  The feelings that it evoked were amazing. It's almost indescribable. Such a juxtaposition of feelings. i felt safe  by the woman who was kicking me, loved by the woman punching me, cherished by the woman who was pulling my hair. She had ordered me to keep my eyes closed, which She praised me for doing so well, and that had a two-fold effect on me. The first being that i was very on edge about what was going to happen. The second thing was that i really noticed Her perfume on Her wrists when She had Her hands on my throat, my sense of smell was heightened a bit i guess.

Once She was done beating me, we laid on the floor for a while and it took me a while to process what we had done. After a bit i noticed the stirring in my loins, i was very turned on. While we were actively playing i was too wrapped up in the feelings of pain to notice but now that i had "come down" they were front and center. Madam started to kiss me and we ended up having hot sex right there on the floor where we had collapsed to after playing.

We moved into our bed as it was late and had a short post-play chat about how we each felt about the new techniques and such.  When i started to get sleepy Madam turned the lights off and i snuggled up behind my protector and drifted to sleep with a big smile on my face.

 It has been a while since we have had a "good scene" (that doesn't sound right but i can't think of how to word it differently). I think it had a very positive effect on me, today i feel more submissive than in the recent past. And that's definitely a good thing.

Vampire slave

So it turns out I own a vampire slave, minus the thirst for blood. elle has a need to bite Me, hard. Which, unfortunately I can't allow her to do as I'm not big on pain and the biting she gets the urge to do isn't just a sweet little nibble. It's more a, don't-kiss-me-or-bring-any-part-of-your-body-close-to-my-mouth-right-now-because-I-will-chomp-down-and-go-to-town-with-your-flesh! kind of biting. She doesn't know why she gets into this mood, and neither of us can figure out what need this is that she has that is showing in this form. I want to be able to fill this need, but giving My arm to be devoured doesn't seem like the most pleasing or long term solution. Anyone else have this need? What do you do?

Last night she was gently holding my arm in her teeth which I was quite all right with. I tried to encourage her saying it was good pressure, good girl for being gentle, and so on, but I'm sure it was difficult for her to keep it at that level knowing how much, especially lately, she is feeling this need, and I rather doubt that little bit was really doing anything to help her. I'm not sure what to do for My girl in regards to this.

Story Excerpt

Here is an excerpt from a story that I have been writing and going back to now and then over the past year. I wrote this part today after much time of not writing. I hope you enjoy it and I figure you can probably come up with your own idea as to how one could find themselves in this position without My giving the full story:)

****
My body has grown stiff from the cold floor and laying unmoving for an unknown amount of time. I have no idea how long I have been locked in this room, the only sign I have of much time passed is the growing pressure I feel in my bladder for release.

A battle rages in my head as I try to decide how it would best please Madam to find me upon her return. Her heel in my back, pressing me to the floor indicated I was not to rise at the time, but was it her intention for me to stay sprawled on the hard floor or would she approve if I were to return to the position I was meant to be in, in the bedroom. I am already to be punished for such a grave disobedience of her command that I fear to make another mistake, but perhaps she would see my changing positions as an attempt to reassert the respect I have for my Madam.

Willing to take on whatever punishment that may come of my decision, I feel in my submissive  self that I must try to show my grief for displeasing her, by once again taking up the wait position for however long she leaves me in this small, lonely room. Moving my stiff body into position, I feel immediately the hardness of the cement pressing into my knees and know that my choice will turn out to be a self punishment and a test of my resolve if she is to ignore me for much longer. I am determined to show my submission.

It doesn't take long for the pain in my knees to grow exponentially. My thigh and calf muscles constrict and tremble as I fight my body on its need to move. My pain is for Madam. I clench my hands to the back of my neck and stare blindly at a spot on the wall as my vision blurs with silent tears that trickle down my cheeks.

I think briefly to distract myself from the fire in my knees by counting, but realize I would then not be fully experiencing my position. I am Madam's property; I have given control of my being to Madam; I am not playing a game, I am living life; to live this life I must be willing to give my all to Madam and do everything that she expects of me. I am nothing; I am no one; I am only what and who she says I am. I choose to feel entirely the pain in my knees, the quivering in my muscles, the ache in my back, the heaviness of my arms, because that is what Madam choses for me.

Instead of counting, I focus all my attention on feeling everything this position causes in my body. It is excruciating for a long time as I slowly scroll through my body, feeling each part, describing out loud how each area is doing, and telling myself the pain is not yet sufficient for the penance I owe Madam.

"Thank you Madam for this lesson; I will learn; I will do better; I want to be your slave and do everything you tell me. Thank you Madam for letting me feel this pain; I want to hurt for your pleasure; I need to suffer for your forgiveness; I beg you to punish me for my insolence. Thank you Madam for allowing this hurt to teach me my place; I am yours; I submit to you; I give you full control; I am yours."

I ramble on until only unintelligible sounds escape and I reach a plateau in my pain where I am kind of floating in a euphoric high based on exhaustion, intense pain, and complete acceptance of what is to come. The way something incredibly hot feels cold to the touch, the feelings coursing through my body have so over stimulated my nerves and pain receptors that I am nearly unaware of my physical discomfort. Not wanting this experience to turn pleasant for me, I slightly alter my position to reawaken my body and fresh tears spill forth as this body that Madam owns once again feels the intensity of pain on a level higher than I have experienced before. I know I am now ready for Madam's punishment.

Not long after, or maybe it is still quite some time later, it is so hard to tell, when my bladder is near bursting, I hear the key in the lock and prepare for Madam's entrance. Not daring to look to the door, with my eyes still fixed to the wall, I hear the click of Madam's heels as she takes the few steps into the room to be directly within my line of sight. I stare at her shoes and realize there is a pair of heavy, black combat boots within my peripheral vision.

Madam has not come back alone.   

Ramblings

I feel lost. I'm half way through My leave of absence and I feel I have done nothing with My time. Sure I've been keeping up with the cleaning and transferring old writing onto the computer, but really I have done nothing. I had plans to write during this time, I haven't written a word. I was going to take photos during these months, I have taken a handful of our cats. I was going to rev up My cooking skills, I put in minimal effort in the beginning. I was going to learn all about D/s and fine tune our dynamic, it's a slow work in progress. I just feel trapped in this perpetual cycle of housework and I'm doing it to Myself.

I barely leave the house other than for a trip to the library or grocery store because I know if I go to a coffee shop, or for a walk, or whatever then when I get home I'll be even less inclined to do what I should be doing around here. If I clean first with plans to go out after, by the time I'm done I don't have the energy or inclination to go anywhere, and it's getting dark.

I fool Myself into thinking, today is the day I will write a story, when I don't even have any ideas swirling around in My head. I type up old writing and I'm impressed with the ideas I had growing up, some are quite good and make Me want to pick up writing them but then I tell Myself I can't. I need to just get this stuff on the computer and I can write later. I have a feeling 'later' is really never. In a month and a half I go back to work full time, then two and a half months later we move. The stressful struggle to find a job, any job, will then start up, followed by more full time work, followed by a lifetime of being someone's lackey at some job I end up hating after a time because it's not what I want to be doing, but I don't know what I want to be doing, because when I have the time to do what I think I want to do I don't do it because I feel like I don't have the time and if I feel like I don't have the time now, then I most certainly will never have the time because I am obviously not ambitious enough to just take whatever time I do have and do something with it!

I have never had the motivation to actually put in hard work for the career I've wanted and I'm scared to do any kind of more schooling because I know from the past that it just puts Me (and now My wife) in debt and isn't actually put to use. I'm worried I will be a lifetime retail worker and I hate that thought, but I don't know how to motivate Myself to make something of Myself.

A few steps I am going to try to turn the next half of this time off, around:

1. Change cleaning schedule to open up some time.
2. Schedule in writing/coffee shop, walks/photography (I work better following a schedule, hence blogging regularly now, it's on the schedule).
3. Plan rewards for elle and I to show My appreciation for her working so hard for us, and Me for adding some motivation to the career side of life.
4. Schedule in play times.
5. Schedule in moving prep.

I can't wait for elle to get home in an hour+, I need a hug.

Time for a Tweak

I've said this before but I'll say it again, being a Domme doesn't come easily to Me. There are probably plenty out there that would say I'm not a 'real' Domme because I'm not a natural, the habits and actions of a Domme aren't characteristics that are ingrained in Me. No, I'm not dominant by nature. I have to work at it, and quite often I fail at it. If fact, elle and I have taken on the roles in our dynamic that are opposite to both our natures. elle is a very independent, strong willed, organized person. All attributes that I love about My girl. All attributes that make it a bit more difficult for her to be slave to Me.

Why then, you might wonder, am I not the slave? Well for good reason, we both want and need to be in this dynamic the way it is. elle needs freedom from making decisions, she needs to not be responsible for getting us through life unscathed, she needs to be able to just breathe and follow My lead. For myself, I need to be pushed with decisions and allow Myself to say 'no', I need to feel the weight on My shoulders of navigating through life safely, and I need to feel the love and devotion of My slave.

See, leading up to our relationship, I had always been very passive, gullible and pretty well, a doormat. I did everything in My power to please other people, that I am now faced with a sizeable debt, and lots of resentment inside. There is pretty much a daily fight I have with Myself about how I could have let that happen, how did I not see what was happening, how could I be so stupid, blind, naive, yadda yadda?? Unfortunately now I am not the only one that is paying for what I allowed happen with previous people. My mother is affected (talk about huge guilt), My wife is affected (diddo on the guilt), and our quality of life is affected.

Being Domme has made Me feel more secure in the fact that the past can't repeat itself and elle can be secure in knowing that she can't get to the point of steam rollering through our relationship. I can say 'no' and she can relinquish control. Where we come along it being difficult is that neither, as I said, was really in our nature. Sometimes I still say 'yes' too often, and elle takes too much control, but we are a work in progress and I feel we always will be.

We talked this weekend about where we are lately falling off the D/s wagon and have come upon a few changes that I think will make this better. When we started, our dynamic was more of a physical service slavery formula. elle wasn't working, I was, so she was able to take care of the home and I felt better about having her do things for Me. However, over the past month and a half that I haven't been working but she is, I have been taking care of the home and feel bad about wanting to get her to do something for Me because she's been at work all day. So we have talked, and decided more of a mental D/s is what we are looking at right now. Going back to making sure she wears My collar when possible, having her sit at My feet, inviting her to eat, inviting her into bed, making sure she asks permission for things (still need to flesh this one out), and overall just making sure I make the decisions for her. I need to start doing the leading a whole lot better around here, as each time she sees a weakness coming out of Me the natural control that is in her, latches on and pushes.

I am very hopeful we can get ourselves back on track, because when we're doing well in our dynamic it is really good.    

Fisting and Rape Play

Play this weekend was fantastic, though it unfortunately didn't start off that way. About ten minutes into our first scene, the leather slapper that I was using wrapped too far around My girl's inner thigh and triggered her. As on a previous occasion she was unable to get out her safe word. She just can't manage to make the word audible when needed, so it took Me about thirty seconds to a minute (I think) to clue in that her crying was not due to the physical pain I was delivering. I stopped immediately to check in and could tell things were not right. She did not move and was just frozen, though crying hard.

I cuddled her and talked to her and eventually she calmed back down. I feel so bad when something like that happens, though accidents obviously do occur. It scares Me that it is now very obvious that when she needs to safe word out she is unable to. After an hour or so of talking and cuddling she seemed free of the trigger. Thankfully no lasting effects this time around. I'm sure it helped that we both knew the next day we had all day together. Once we were calm, in that small little whisper she uses when she is confessing a desire she asked Me to fist her!

We have attempted fisting before and almost gotten there, but this time I made it all the way in and Oh My Goodness! Wow! She was so tight around My fist My fingers were going to sleep. It is quite an amazing feeling and sight to be wrist deep in a tight, wet cunt. That is definitely in the plans to be repeated again and again. Obviously it made her a little tender and say "hell no!" to giving birth, lol. There's some effective birth control for you!

The next day, again in that little whisper elle requested to be raped while she was sore and to be pushed in ways until she begged Me to stop. So later that night we played. After a pretty good struggle that landed Me with some good marks from her :) I managed to get her tied down to the bed. I used her sore hole pretty well, but didn't want to cause too much trauma. She very much does not like when I go down on her, but at the same time wants to learn to tolerate it for My enjoyment so I took this as the perfect opportunity to rape her in a more psychological way and push her limits, while still using My cock in her. It didn't take long for her body to betray her and after forcing an extended clitoral orgasm she was able to use her signal to tell Me she had enough (she was gagged so begging wasn't exactly possible.) During aftercare one of our cats laid down on her stomach and almost instantly she seemed much calmer. Kitty cuddles are very relaxing.

All in all it was a great weekend of playing and reconnecting, even with the stumble of triggering her.

On another note, I seem to be sleeping better. The last few nights, I've had a sleep CD playing during the night. It apparently activates the brainwaves that are supposed to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. So far I think it is going all right and yesterday the wall of exhaustion did not make an appearance, even after hours of housework, today it's still to be seen. I'm feeling very good after the weekend.

Sleep Deprived

I am a terrible sleeper. I have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. I rarely wake up feeling rested and usually at some point during the day I hit a wall of utter exhaustion where I just want to close My eyes, and if I do it is very difficult to find the strength to open them again or get up off the couch. If I give in and take a planned half hour nap it turns into two hours where I am still sluggish and groggy; it takes much force to make Myself get up during any of this. I feel I am close to that wall right now. I take pills every night to help, which is not good. The only good thing, they aren't addictive sleep aids. I choose between melatonin pills and a prescribed anti depressant (for sleep). Both seem to help minimally, at best, and long term use of anything just ends up making the issue worse. I don't know what I can do to finally get a good nights sleep every night, but it is affecting our playtime.

Last Friday we were supposed to play, to get into a routine of playing again, but I was so tired that we didn't and still haven't. I was really wanting to just push through and play anyway, but for the safety of My girl obviously I can't do that. It wasn't the first time my tiredness has gotten in the way, but it really upset Me. elle was very good of course, told Me it was all right and held Me in her arms as I cried in frustration. I don't want to get her hopes up by scheduling playtimes only to cancel them, but I don't want a month to go by before we play again either. Maybe tomorrow will be our chance...except elle is possibly having a root canal and I don't imagine that pain will get her going. Hopefully she won't actually need to have it done.

I have been sleep deprived for years. Anyone have any good tricks for falling asleep?  

Reconnection

So in My last post I talked about how it has been a bit of a struggle to feel like a Domme while doing the chores, but that I am coming around to seeing in from the D perspective. Well there was a small moment this weekend that had Me silently bursting with pride at a comment My slave made. It has been hard for her to have Me doing the chores as well and there have been times when she jokingly has said that maybe I should be the slave and other times when she sadly has said that I am better at this then she was:( This weekend, however, when she saw that I had made the bed while she was brushing her teeth she looked at Me and in that little girl voice she gets she said, "You're being such a good Daddy." It was wonderful to hear that from her!

Yesterday was the second anniversary of our first date and Wednesday is the six month anniversary of our wedding day. I love you so much My wife, My slave, My little girl.

Lately, we have been sorely lacking in playtime, but yesterday we finally played...twice...and both times were amazing. How have I allowed us to go so long without that connection for us?! The first scene was about pain and power, slave needed to feel it and I needed to give it with force. The second time was about depriving elle of her senses and all sense of control to make her feel and focus on just her body and her complete surrender to My will. We both agreed it was one of our favorite scenes. Though My girl is at work right now, I feel such a stronger connection to her than I have in the last little while. Scenes aren't just about what is being done and felt in the moment for us, they reconnect us, strengthen our bond and make the rest of life seem much more balanced.

I really must stay on top of us playing more even if that means adding it to the schedule of things to do...wash dishes, check; clean cat boxes, check; beat wife, check:) What kinky person wouldn't want that as part of their "chore" list, lol.

The cat is staring at Me and I can't think of a title

Well this is a little late in coming but Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! This post shall be the first in a much more frequently updated blog...I have My fingers crossed this time so it must be true.

The beginning of this year saw a relatively big change to My and slave elle's life. I have not worked a single day this year yet, nor will I until April. Long story short, My boss is a two faced bitch and due to her out-of-the-blue job threatening actions towards Me, I have gone on a three month stress leave. Thank goodness I will have employment insurance money coming in, but My job now until April 1 is as home. elle works four afternoons a week and extra shifts now and then so it has become My responsibility to take care of all the chores including making her lunch. It's rather a shift for us and I do definitely at times feel like our D/s roles have changed.

I am not the kind of Domme that can sit at home and do My own thing all day while My slave is off at work, and then expect her to pick up the house when she gets home at midnight. It is, however, hard to stay in any kind of Domme mind frame when checking off completed chores on the chore sheet and trying to plan dinner so My slave has a good meal to take for work the next day.

I am slowly working this into a D/s feel again in My head. As I see it, My slave is going out to do the hard work so I don't have to. I am learning how all these chores are done and how I want them done so I can better train her to do them when I am working again. I know how long chores take now so I can much better plan her days later on. I am controlling her food intake. I have been carrying her bank card for the last week or two and this morning I gave her, her allowance that she may spend on coffees or a snack, but otherwise doesn't have access to money outside of her cab fair and emergencies. I am reading up on BDSM which thus far had not taken much time to do and getting ideas...watch out girl! I am this week working on a set of simple rules/routines that we can easily follow these few months to try to up the D/s feel. Our dynamic has been a work in progress since we started and I sometimes feel there is no progress, but I think with this time off I can figure a few things out that will hopefully make it a bit easier even once I am back to work.

A while back in a post, elle alluded to there being a certain interest of hers that she wasn't yet ready to mention on here. Well we have been happily playing around with this interest since then and I am very much enjoying this added aspect to our dynamic. We are now Domme and slave, with a side of Daddy and little girl. It's fun! I think it has taken some pressure off as well. There is just a different feel to our connection when we are Daddy/lg that makes Me feel more complete in our dynamic and when she quietly say "Daddy, I love you" and cuddles in closer, I just feel all warm and gooey inside...and rather damp in certain areas as well!