Rituals, Protocols and an Update

Prepping for the Winnipeg Submissives Network (WSN) meeting got me thinking. The topic is on protocols and rituals. We were supposed to do it this month but we had a bit of lower turn-out so we decided to wait for next month. Then, as Master and i were getting into bed we had a discussion about our rules, rituals and protocols. We decided that we need to be spending a bit more of our free time focusing on our M/s rather than doing other things as it has been pushed aside a bit as of late with vanilla life creeping in more and more.

Master and i have many protocols and rituals that we use on a day to day basis that turn the more mundane aspects of our lives into special events. These interactions really help us reconnect. They are sacred moments in time when we stop and focus on each other. The interaction reaffirms our commitment towards each other and reinforces our Master/slave Power Exchange. Each ritual and/or protocol fulfills a purpose be it control of how i look or to make Master’s life easier and more enjoyable.

The rules that work, why do they work? Because we care about them. We have spent years refining how they work; when life changes we alter them as needed. In fact, we are planning on looking at our rules and protocols again this upcoming weekend because of the changes that have happened over the past while in our lives and we haven’t re-evaluated our rules in a while. The protocols and rituals we have now have become a natural part of our lives and we miss them when we don’t do them. It’s so easy to slip out of them if you start to let them slide so we need to remind each other when something is missed. They also work because our rules, rituals and protocols as i said earlier serve a purpose in our relationship, be it enhancing Sir’s quality or enjoyment of life, practical reasons or reinforcing our M/s dynamic, to name a few.  The rules that don’t work are either changed or removed.

Why do i like to have them? The obvious answer is that i want the connection that our rituals offer.  Beyond that though, having protocols gives my life structure which gives me freedom to not have to make choices which is a huge stress relief for me. i like to know how exactly She wants her food presented and how exactly to hold my arms and head while waiting for Her to take whatever it is that i am offering. i like knowing exactly what is expected of me and how to best please my Master.

Kahawii was here outside with Master during the meeting so after the WSN get together was finished they came inside. i was so horny by the time she left from her pulling my hair and poking at my bruises from the weekend that i wanted to be filled and fucked so badly it almost hurt more than the poking and hair puling! Having both Kahawii and Master gang up on me to punch me and such also didn’t help any. But alas, she went home and left me suffering. Master offered to assist me but by the time our conversation was over it was very late so we just went to sleep.

Another thing that Master and i have been talking about is having me try to use a safeword so She feels more comfortable with beating me harder. That way She knows where my limits really are and doesn’t have to guess if i’ve had enough. It was my idea to try to see if it will help Her be able to unleash Her sadism more freely.

Nothing to See Here

So I'm not too sure what I am here writing about today but since it has been over a month since either myself or Lee has published anything I though that I should attempt something.

A quick recap on the baby-makin' front- we had our first insemination last month which was unsuccessful but earlier this week we had our second, which we think will have better chances of being successful (I had 3 eggs developing this time as opposed to only 1 last time, but that also means that there's a chance of having multiples).

Other than baby stuff and work we haven't been doing too much. It was pride a few weeks ago so we went to a couple of the events and the parade but that's about it though really. Lee has been trying to get our garden growing, which after so many years of neglect from previous tenants, is taking a monumental effort! About 10 days ago I took three days and cooked and baked a whole bunch of stuff for the freezer so that I/we can have quick/easy meals that are still mostly healthy on days that I work and don't feel like cooking. That was a feat! I ran out of room in my freezers so I had to quit before I had made everything! Next time I will try to plan better, both my time and the amount of food I will make. This was the first time that I have tried to do anything on this scale before, in the past i have made a couple of casseroles or the like and froze them individually portioned but that was for work lunches mostly. I like knowing that I can still serve Sir a decent dinner after work when I'm tired or that She has things that She can pull out on the evenings that I work.

On to the kinky stuff then...

The other day Lee told me that this weekend we're going to go over the rules and if we think I am ready for Her to increase the corrective action if/when I break a rule. Most of them I would say that I am ready for the increase. There have been a few that I have struggled with though. I think the hardest ones for me are remembering to ask permission before leaving the room and asking permission before eating a sweet/treat item (especially when Lee's not around). When we had that rule a few years ago I did fairly well with it so I'm not sure why I am struggling with it now. I kind of think that having a "bigger" punishment for infractions will help me remember better.

We haven't had much for play time lately and with possibly being pregnant that puts more restrictions on what we can do. Although, when we were at The Ball last weekend we watched a few rope/suspension scenes that we both enjoyed. Neither of us have had any real desire to "learn rope" and until recently. Since we have been actively trying for a baby and trying to figure out ways that we will be able to play still while I am being an incubator the topic of rope has come up. For me, the draw is the restriction/bondage aspects of it. (I imagine it's probably the same for most bottoms?) I haven't asked Lee what it is exactly that draws Her to rope but I'm guessing that it is probably similar to me (but from the other side, obviously). Since neither of us have any experience with rope I'm not sure how to get started, a book or two and/or the internet I guess? And find some decent rope to start playing with I imagine.

The one new thing that has been coming up lately is a desire in me to "top" someone. Just in play mind you. I have had similar desires before but not to the extent or explicitness that I have been feeling lately. There have been a few occasions lately where I just want to beat on someone. The feeling goes beyond just being playful. I don't really understand where the feelings are coming from and don't know what to do about it since I don't have anybody to beat on. I really wish I had a group of subs/slaves that I could talk to about this like I did in Victoria.

I have been contemplating trying to start a submissive women's group here for that and many other reasons. I keep going back and forth about whether I have time for it, and since i am relatively unknown here I don't know if people would question if I have what it takes to be in charge of a group like that. I know how I would like the group to operate and I have come up with a list of a few topic ideas for meetings already. I have been thinking of messaging the woman who is the leader of the subby women's group that I was a part of in Victoria to see if she has any advice to offer.

Well, I think that's all for today. I'll try to write again soon.