After dinner we listened to a podcast together. We have been talking about doing this for quite a while now, Lee had even written into our rules that we would read/listen to M/s and PE stuff and talk about it last time She/we updated them. So we listened to the Approaching D/s as a Lifestyle episode from Erotic Awakening. The majority of what they were saying was more basic/beginner than where we are at but towards the end they talked about contracts. So our post podcast talk revolved around contracts. We have started talking about writing a contract recently. To be honest, in the beginning of our relationship I didn't see the need for one but the longer we are at this the more that I see how having a contract could be such a blessing to our M/s (oh and as a side note, Lee told me yesterday to use M/s instead of D/s because She thinks that it more accurately reflects our dynamic even though She doesn't call Herself a Master... More on that later...)
We aren't planning on writing up a contract any time soon. It's something that we both agree needs to have time to develop naturally without the pressure of time constraints. We made a list of some things we thought are important to include. Obviously other things may/will come up between the time the contract actually gets written and now but so far here's what we want to include. Our responsibilities to each other and our dynamic, a mission statement of sorts-something that will not only outline our M/s commitment and values but, also, if we have a child, our family values (I firmly believe that we are a family already, we don't need a child to be one. However, our M/s values are our current family values and if we don't end up having a child they will remain that way. But if we do have a child I'm sure that there are things that we will need to incorporate.) We also want to have a clearly defined renewal time. We will also include our rules and protocols that are already in place.
The biggest thing that we need to work on for the contract is to learn what are true needs and wants are. Although we didn't discuss that topic in too much detail I imagine that that will include both personal and relationship needs and wants. Lee had mentioned about including a goal but I said that I thought that the goal would be to have our needs and wants met and thinking about it now, a mission statement is a kind of a goal, isn't it?
Why do we want a contract? We didn't get much time to discuss this but the first and main reason is for the structure. I have come to view signing a contract as almost synonymous as signing a marriage license. It will be a monumentous (sp?) occasion for us. At one point I asked Sir why if She felt it was important for us to have one for our M/s then why don't we have a marriage contract? Her reply was "Our marriage is M/s". Don't know why but hearing Her say that struck me pretty hard. Not that I had ever viewed our marriage as a separate entity from our M/s but hearing those words come from Her mouth made me realize that She believes that too I guess was part of why it hit me. I don't know why since our wedding vows have hints of our PE laced throughout them. Heck we even used our "scene names" during the wedding (which is what we use with each other and are, in truth, derived from our "real" names) except for the legal mumbo jumbo part.
While we were talking I was in tears a few times. Those who know me know that I am a bit of a waterworks case, so the fact that I was tearing up last night comes at no surprise. We both commented that we feel like we have such renewed hope for our future. I feel like Sir has changed. For a long time I could feel Her struggle with a role that She was not fully comfortable in. I don't see Her "playing" a role any more, She has really blossomed, for lack of a better word, into being a great Daddy Dom. She is now (at least from where I'm sitting) seems confident and sure in Her position as our leader in our PE. When I told Her that she seemed very happy. I also apologized for not telling Her how great She was this weekend, She kept telling me that I was being good but I never praised Her. So I told Sir that She had been a good girl too, which got a bit of a chuckle.
I feel like there is something else that I wanted to say but for the life of me I can't remember what that is now so I think I'm going to end this here. I have stuff I want to get done around the house so I'm off to do that now.
Before I do leave though I want to ask, if you're reading this and have any tips for writing a contact please either leave us a note in the comments section or you could PM Lee or I on Fetlife (my profile)
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