Thursday, December 3, 2015

A few thoughts on TPE that are swirling around in my head

TPE, total power exchange, is the foundation of my relationship with Lee. Master and slave are our chosen positions within our relationship. Lee is always in charge no matter what the situation. She has final say in all aspects of our relationship. This includes our “vanilla” life stuff too. We planned it that way because i am impulsive; i tend to act or speak first then think after, especially when i’m tired, stressed/under pressure or mentally unwell. It works for us.

i like our relationship like this. i love the structure that having rules gives. i love the feeling of caring that i get from Master when She pushes me on things. i know that my Master can make decisions for me/us and i am safe, unlike if i were calling the shots. When i call the shots, i do things like eat too much, yell at strangers and hurt myself. i feel a sense of comfort knowing that Lee is in charge. Her decisions may not always be 100% right but they are at least as good as or better than whatever i would have done.


Lee and i have been talking about the concept of putting aside your roles to work out a problem. We both agree that the idea is not for us. When we have a big problem that needs to be worked out we do not step out of our M/s roles and become egalitarian. Why would we do that, when i/we’d have to face the consequences once we are “back in our roles?” We live our M/s 24/7 and i consider stepping out of our dynamic to go against the idea of that, just in the simple fact that it then means you’re not 24/7; you’re 24/7 minus the time outs. i can respectfully tell Lee that something is wrong any time i need to, so long as i’m respectful and it’s not an inappropriate time.

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