Am i Leather?

This is a question that has been swirling around in my head for some time now. But how does one “figure out” if they are Leather? Read books, listen to other people talk about why they identify as Leather and look inwards are the main suggestions i’ve always heard.

To be honest, i have not read any books specifically about the Leather lifestyle/culture but i have read quite a bit online on Fetlife and other websites such as Leatherati.com as well as personal blogs. i did read a book that was the journal of a Leather Woman early in my kink exploration days. At the time though, Leather wasn’t even on the radar so maybe i should re-read it.

i don’t know a lot of people who identify as Leather that i can talk to about why they have chosen to identify as Leather. i have listened to a number of podcasts about Leather identity, culture, etc. which has been only marginally helpful at best. The reading that i’ve done i think is a bit of a substitute for the face to face that i’m missing but i would love to have more of it. Talking about Leather, the small amount that i have done, has been enjoyable and enlightening.

A lot of the big ideas in Leather, honor, respect, service, obedience, community, living truthfully/authentically and striving for growth are all things that Lee and i have been including in the contract that we have been writing. Looking inwards, i truly enjoy the structure and protocol associated with Leather. This is how i live my life and the basis of my relationship with Lee rather than just some simple kinky sexy fun times. We practice what we preach and live our M/s authentically. When we give a talk for MAsT, it is our true selves we are sharing with our community. That is another quality that i love about Leather lifestyle- the community idea- having a family of Leather kin that you could turn to for help with nearly anything, kinky or vanilla. Service is a big part of Leather, which i also agree with. Both Lee and i agree that giving back to the community is important both for the greater good and for our relationship.

This past weekend we were fortunate enough to host friends of ours who are also an M/s couple and identify as Leather. They are so similar to Lee and i it is almost scary. Having them here gave me a small glimpse of what i imagine having a family could be like. It felt good to be able to express our M/s openly and freely and know that they not only accepted it but embrace it and in a way encourage it. Kind of like when company’s around, you’re on your best behavior. Not that we were faking, just operating at a slightly higher level of protocol for some things than we typically do when we are at home i guess is what i mean.

i think what i waiting for is a lightbulb moment. i’m waiting for something to happen that will definitively tell me that yes i am Leather or no i’m not. Not sure what that would be.  

i’m sure there will be more thoughts on the subject but that is all for now!