Lee and I have had a few discussions in the past about "advancing into" a Master and slave dynamic. We even tried for a while, then things kinda fell apart, which is what prompted the discussion that we had last week. Before Madam and i had our talk last week i had hoped that it was going to be the re-start of the M/s, so to speak. You see, I have always identified as more of a slave than submissive but i didn't outwardly identify as that because Lee had made it clear that She wasn’t ready to own a slave. i was so thrilled that Lee was finally ready to accept me as Her slave, i didn't care if it was really what was best for us, if we were ready for that kind of commitment.
She decided that we needed to work more on firming up our D/s before "advancing" to a M/s relationship. i'm not going to lie, i was disappointed for selfish reasons. Just as i agreed to be Her slave before for selfish reasons. Then like two days later, in the middle of a scene She asked me to be Her slave. i wish i could remember Her exact words because i remember that they were beautiful. i, of course, said yes. When i asked Her later what made Her change Her mind she said it just felt right at the time. Which makes me worry that She was just caught up in the moment and had disregarded what ever Her reasons were to hold back before. i mean, nothing had changed. Nothing that i was aware of at least. i'm also worried that She rushed into this for me.
All of this has got me thinking as to what would/will change in our relationship in M/s vs. D/s? i mean, we already live 24/7, though it may not be complete TPE it's pretty darned close, close enough for what we/She wants. i even took Her last name when we got married!
I really don't know what I've gotten myself into by agreeing to be Lee's slave
i know, i know, i need to just accept what She says at face value and stop trying to find ulterior motives and meanings behind things. My problem is that I'm just like a toddler, I always want to know why. Why did you do that, decide that, etc.? That's probably my biggest hurdle to becoming a better slave. It's not just with Madam that I do it, as far as I can remember I've always been like this (I think that's why I love to read so much and always want to learn new things).
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i've been a busy girl the last few days. On Thursday i peeled, sliced and froze about 11 pounds of peaches and made a peach and blueberry crisp as well as my chores. Yesterday i made two pans of peach muffins before going to work. i'm off today but i hope to get a few extra chores done cause i'm working tomorrow to Thursday, all evenings so i can't really do much when i get home because Lee will already be in bed and i don't think Her or the neighbours would appreciate it if i started vacuuming at one o'clock in the morning!!
Madam and i have to talk about our move again soon as i've finally found out more info about transferring my LPN license to Manitoba. After all the fretting and worrying that i did, it sounds like it shouldn't be difficult at all! i've been thinking of going back to school to become a RN. There are two schools in Winnipeg that offer the RN program and i have a family member who went to one and now teaches at the other so i have emailed her to see if she can offer any insight into which would be my better choice. So i guess the moving discussion will probably wait until i hear from her.
Well, i've gotta get going on my chores. Lee will be home in about six hours and because i worked last night, i got to sleep in so i haven't even started them at all yet :(
If anyone can provide me with some insight about the sub/slave Domme/Master differences would be lovely!!!
(As much as I don't like this guy because half the time he contradicts himself) This article does a good job at showing some of the depths.
ReplyDeletehttp://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/2011/02/accept-me-as-i-am.html
One example I found in another article was some Masters control if the slaves are allowed to go to the bathroom or not. It's just an example though, I wouldn't say all M/s relationships are that extreme. Point being, a Master can change every fundamental decision you can make if they want to. :P
@Silly Mistress-Thank you for the article. You are correct in saying that it shows some differences between M/s and D/s. i think that my problem lies in the fact that Madam and i were pretty much in a M/s style relationship while calling it D/s. We are hoping to be able to talk with each other soon about this but our work schedules right now won't allow it for a week or so.
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