I am Master, she is slave.
Sometimes it takes her goading and fighting back for My full Master tendencies to appear. I feel I am at the stage in our dynamic where I am fully aware of who I am, but sometimes I need an "excuse" to release My full potential. Such as last night. I intended to use her holes as soon as I decided to start touching her, but I didn't have any plans of a non-consent scene until she started fighting back. She wouldn't stop and instead of ordering her to stop, I decided showing her, her place would be much more fun and effective in controlling her.
This was the first such scene where I felt the struggle for power in earnest. I know she started fighting just to have a little fun and to get Me going. she wanted Me to take before she would give, though she admitted after she had no idea it would go that far. After a while though, I feel like the struggle was much more real for both of us. My brain switched from "oh, you wanna fight do ya" to "that bitch is gonna get it!" Lol, while being safe and fully aware of her reactions and such, of course.
When we first started on this kinky path, I read about Domme space and never really believed it because it didn't seem like I got anything close to what others described. Lately though, especially with some of our more intense play that really has elle begging and pleading, I've been feeling more and more giddy-like with power, and afterwards I find that it feels quite like a dream when I think back on what happened. It's kind of tunnel vision-esk. I think about last night and I can see it happening and remember that while it was, nothing else existed. I was in it %100 and I just knew that I had to conquer her, knew that I could, and had every right to.
That's right, I said "I had every right to rape My wife." she was misbehaving, even if just playing, and didn't just spread her legs for Me, so after a struggle I forced My fingers into her holes to show they were mine. It wasn't just because I felt like fucking her anymore, it was to make her feel completely owned by Me. Owned and loved to the point that it was in both our best interest for Me to follow through to such an extent and remind her of her place.
And then...and then, when it was all said and done, and she was coming down, she asked me in a very timid voice to make love to her! How wonderful is that. I rape My wife and not ten minutes later does she ask Me to hold her in My arms and make love to her. Getting deeper and deeper into this dynamic just shows the scope of our relationship and how close it brings us. I know this is not for everyone, but for those of us that are in the lifestyle, I feel we have a profound advantage for relationship success when so many raw emotions and actions can be expressed and shared. Nothing is left inside to fester when feelings can be released in such a way.
elle, I don't remember ever thanking you for taking the brave step of broaching the subject of BDSM with Me a year ago, but thank you so much for doing so. It is taking Me some time to come into My own on this, but I feel like I am finally starting to really feel My place here and I truly think it has made our relationship ten time better than I ever though possible with anyone. I love you so much, sometimes only actions can speak so deeply.
That was beautiful!
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