i'm Back!

i'm not entirely sure what to write about today but for some reason I have the urge to write. Maybe cause it's been so long since i have and/or i finally have had enough time to catch up on *most * of the household stuff that i wouldn’t feel guilty for writing.

Well, in case you care to know what i have been doing these last few weeks i've been working more than usual. Anywhere between 3-5 (and a few weeks ago 6) days a week. Now i know to many of you that's probably the norm but not for me and because of it i have been tired and sore.

The other think that i have been doing is birthday shopping for Lee. Tuesday is a big birthday, a milestone, you could say, so i have been hunting for the perfect gift. This proved to be an almost impossible task. What kind of gift adequately represents my love and devotion to my wife/Master? I can't say what i ended up with right now cause then Lee would read it so you all will have to wait until after Tuesday yourselves to find out just like She does. But i think i did good...i hope!

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Last Tuesday (or was it Wednesday? i think it was Wednesday... i can't remember!!) Madam decided that for the day i needed to ask permission to leave Her presence. Any time i wanted to do anything, even if it was something that She told me to do i had to ask. She's never required this of me before so when She told me about this i was worried that i'd forget, which i did a few times but overall i did pretty well with remembering.

Then on Thursday, She made me text Her to ask permission to go to the bathroom. The rule was that i had to wait 10 minutes for a reply and if She was busy and couldn't in that time then after the 10 minutes i was allowed to go. i remembered to text Her both times!

After She got home from work She we talked about how i felt about having to ask permission to go to the bathroom. i told Her that it is somewhat embarrassing to have to ask but that since i was fairly certain that She'd say yes that i wasn't really concerned. So She told me that next time maybe She won't say yes so quickly….next time?!? i'm not sure if this is leading up to always having to ask permission but if it is i'm not entirely sure that i like the idea. It's not the asking in and of itself that worries me but more that She will say no when i really need to go and then i will have to beg to go. i think that would be supremely humiliating.

And i also worry that this is going to lead to no bathroom privacy. i already pee with the door open and don’t care if Madam is in the bathroom when i'm doing so but the thought of having to go number 2 openly is not something that i even want to think about. i know many slaves have no bathroom privacy but i don't know if i'm okay with that.

i'm probably reading more into the two days of asking permission than i should be but i am a worrier (as i'm sure i've mentioned before).