Ranting and Updating and Goals! Oh, my!

What to say... what to say...?

One of my rules is that i have to blog twice a week and it's Thursday and i haven't blogged once yet this week. i have been a busy little sub- baking, meal planning, cleaning, getting my resume updated and so on and so on.

i think i'm going to start off with a bit of a rant today. i am a member of a few submissive groups on Fetlife and i have been noticing lately that so many women (and men i guess but it seems to be more so the women) think that there is one "way" to be a sub/slave (herein known as s-type), have a D/s relationship, please their Mater/Mistress (herein known as M-type), etc. i get so frustrated and shout at my computer screen which i realize doesn't help anything but i cannot for the life of me understand why so many probably very intelligent women think there is one way?!?! Yes there are how-to books, but they are mostly suggestions and if something isn't right for you or your relationship then modify it or don't do it. It won't make you less of a s-type if you don't enjoy cooking for your Master/Mistress or if you aren't a masochist or what ever it is you think you are "supposed to do" if you and your M-type have agreed that is isn't right for the two (or more, if you're poly) of you, there are no kinky police who will come and throw you in jail if you don't do certain things. Ok, for things like flogging, caning or other actual play activities, yes there are right and wrong ways for safety reasons but last time i checked the s-type doesn;t usually do those things anyways. Chill out, you're not "doing it" wrong!!! AARRGGAAH!!! i have never really thought that Lee and i had to do anything we didn't want to. i have a bad knee- when it's bad i don't kneel, i sit cross-legged. i also get pretty bad headaches-when i do i'm relieved from doing my more intensive tasks, or putting them off for another day. And guess what? Lee doesn't punish me for sitting cross-legged, having a headache, not being able to do laundry cause the machines were all full...sometimes things are out of a person's control. i mentioned that maybe the reason that we never felt like we had to conform is because of the fact that we are lesbians and are used to not doing things the way society says is correct/normal but like i said i have never felt like i/we must do anything we didn't want to (except my tasks-some days i really don't feel like doing them but alas i must lol!)



OK i've said it. i'm done ranting...for today lol!! if anyone has anything to add or would like to counter what i have said please leave a comment.

The bumps that Madam and i were experiencing are smoothing out quite nicely. She has done an amazing job of stepping up to the plate and giving me a Madam to submit to. We have work to do yet but we are headed in the right direction

Madam has found two new ways of reminding me that i am Hers.

The first is one that neither of us thought that we would do let alone like enough to add to our regular routine. What is it you ask? Madam has begun marking me with Her urine on days that i shower with Her. i kneel in the bottom of the tub and while Her warm stream runs over my back i feel myself falling deeper and deeper into my place as Her property. It started after i was acting very feisty the other day and She decided to show me that as Her property She can do anything She wanted to. Now i know that we have it in our hard limits, but we had talked a bit about it and i had mentioned that i would be up for trying it as i thought it would make me feel very owned but i really didn't think Lee was into the idea at all. i love it and think it is helping me feel more owned through the day, kind of like the maintenance spankings (but since we do those just before bed i don't find their affect carries through to the next day).


The other way is through wearing bells on my ankle cuffs so i can hear each step i take. i know there are many subs who only have a necklace, bracelett or other "vanilla looking" "collar" but i love the reminders. Maybe that's cause we're still new at this and i need the more physical stuff right now. i love having all my senses reminded of Madam's ownership of me. So now i am reminded through sight, touch, smell (i can smell the leather of my collar sometimes, especially when i've been working hard-incentive to work hard? maybe!!) and sound. i am also reminded throughout the day mentally when i repeat my mantra.



We have been talking about me topping Lee for a scene. i have topped her before, in play and in a vanilla sense but not since i became Her sub. So... if anyone has any suggestions on how to maintain my submissive-ness while topping Madam, please throw them this way.

One other quick note, Madam and i have talked a bit about us working one day towards me becoming Her slave! i don't really know how that will happen but She has/is getting over the negative connitations She had about me being Her slave and i guess that's the first step. We both have a lot of growing to do before it happens but i'm glad to know that we have a long term goal to work towards as well as the shorter term ones.

Well, i think i've stalled the chores long enough and since i have another busy day i should probably end this here and get going on the tasks at hand. Oh the life of a sub!! But i wouldn't change if for anything.