my Ideal Madam

Lee gave me this writing assignment. i am to think about what would make an ideal domme for me and why and to think of how it is for Her to switch into a 24/7 mind frame. if this is confusing or seems random i apologize but it's because i'm just typing as i think and trying not to edit my thoughts too much.

Qualities:

• Love is number one- i could not fully submit to someone not in the context of a loving relationship as my service comes from my heart...also You have to love Yourself to show me that you are deserving of and able to accept my love of you
• Open and honest communication-this is the basis of trust, without this there is no relationship. We need to be able to tell each other anything without fear of reprisal. We need to be open about our needs, feelings, thoughts, hopes, dreams, fantasies, worries, insecurities not only about D/s but our relationship in general and as individuals
• Respect in and Pride for Yourself and me- we are humans we are not infallible. Realize that we will both make mistakes along the way but that doesn't mean that we are not a good person or a good Domme or sub/Owner or pet/Poppi or little one
• Self-Awareness-knowledge of what You want/need from me and our relationship so You can see the benefit/point of our power exchange
• Leadership/Guidance in day-to-day activities-to best be able to serve my Madam i need to know Her preferences, priorities, etc
• Self-Control-not reacting in anger to something i may do or say that my Madam dislikes
• Encouragement-to further explore my limits of pain, service, career advancement, etc
• Protection-in a scene by realizing when i have past my limit and can't/haven't used a safeword and in real life by making sure i have adequate shelter, food, clothing as well as Your physical protection when we are together
• Desire for Self-Improvement-i need my Madam to realize when She doesn't know something (or doesn't know enough) and takes the time to learn by reading, asking questions (of me or other Dom/mes), attends to munches/workshops/etc
• Patience with Yourself and me- we are still (and in my opinion will always be to an extent) learning. That doesn't mean being lax with our rules but does mean that You know when to push and when to give some slack
• Consistency-a big part of the reason that D/s appeals to me is the structure that it places in my life. i am a organized person in my heart but i need someone who can bring that into fruition
• Initiates sex, love making and scenes-i need to know that i am sexually desired not just loved. i want to be ravished, used for my Madam's gratification
• Maturity-to be able to honestly manifest most of the traits i have listed my Madam needs to be mature. She accepts responsibility when things go wrong as She is ultimately in charge

i can only imagine how difficult it is for Lee to move into 24/7 D/s. She leave our home in the morning and spend all day at work in the "vanilla world" then comes home and has to switch gears which i think could be hard for even a seasoned Dom/me. Even when She is at home we still have "vanilla world" stressors in our lives that can distract Her. i'm sure it is hard to feel Dommely when there are things going on in your life that make you feel powerless. We have been moving quite quickly into the 24/7 lifestyle and all the changes i'm sure are overwhelming. i have trouble remembering our rules sometimes and i don't expect Her to remember them all of the time either. When i catch myself breaking a rule i tell Her that i have so we are both reminded to help us learn them, not to "rub it in Her face" that She has forgotten/been lax about them. Being in a 24/7 D/s is not something that Lee had wanted initially and i still wonder sometimes if She really does want it or if She's just doing it for me and if that's true it would make it all that much harder for Her. But since i'm not her i don't really know how this is all affecting her, all i know is that it is challenging.

i'm going to end with a excerpt from a poem that i found the other day called Submissive Woman. It's really quite beautiful and if you want to read the whole thing its here.

Her part is much harder than mine and I know this and am grateful that she cares enough about me to spend her time and energy so freely on me.

I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to her.

I am both her pleasure and her responsibility and she takes both seriously.

I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that.

My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly and only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.

Only to she who has the strength will i give myself fully, because I am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.