i am a sub, though i can be a bit bratty and defiant at times. Because Lee and i live together and have many rituals that we perform throughout each day we consider ourselves to be a 24/7 couple. For the most part i enjoy the service aspects of my submission most. i don't really consider myself to be a sexual sub because i tell Lee what i want in play and general "vanilla" sex. Though some may see this as topping from the bottom, to me it is just us maintaining open communication and making sure both our needs are being met sexually.
i am also somewhat of a masochist, a pain slut if you will. i enjoy a good pain play session and have noticed that i crave them sometimes too. i have been known to egg Madam on to get Her to go harder. On occasion i can get off on Lee stimulating me painfully.
To me, service submission is akin to a 1950's style housewife, which i kinda wish i could be. Right now i do all of the cooking, cleaning, mending of clothing, child care (in our case right now that means kitty care lol!!) and overall home upkeep.
Being a Domme has very little appeal to me. i have considered the fact that i should have embraced my control-freak personality and be a Domme rather than fighting it but it's not what i want to be or what i think is best for Lee and i in particular. i don't think it's really feasible in a 24/7 relationship and be a true switch. In my opinion i think the only way you can have be a true switch is in a kink-only-in-the-bedroom-type relationship. i think it would just be far too confusing otherwise, like who's ultimately in charge? and such. Another reason i don't think being a Switch would work for me is the fact that i love the discipline aspect of our relationship. Lee and i have a fairly regimented set of rules, tasks and such that if i don't follow i get punished. If we were to Switch that wouldn't be possible.
Day 2: List your kinks.
The things that get me hot are:
- pain play-i'm a pain slut!! i love impact play types of things like barehand spankings, paddles, canes, leather belts....
- light asphyxiation-knowing that Madam has my life in Her hands and that i am completely at Her mercy is so hot
- having Lee mark me, scratching, writing on me with markers-i absolutely love seeing the reminders of Her ownership and being reminded of a delicious play session
- being bound, especially spread eagle so that not only am i defenceless i am also fully exposed to Madam
- sensory deprivation- a few times i have been blindfolded, gagged and made to wear ear plugs. The sense of touch is heightened about 1000 times, every little thing it felt so much more!
- rape play-having someone want to fuck me so much that they don't care if i do or not is a huge turn on. As well i like the feeling of helplessness and total loss of control.
- Lee and i did a interrogation scene once and really had a lot of fun with that. i'd love to do it again
- not sure if it counts as a kink but i quite enjoy being on the receiving end of anal sex
- pleasuring Madam orally ;)
- i have a love/hate relationship with orgasm control/forced chastity-i love the results but "hate" the waiting. Last time we did this, Madam made me keep Her cock inside me for hours on end for about 4 days leading up to when i was allowed to orgasm!!
- again not sure if this counts as a kink but the 1950's style of household management and domestic discipline
- i'm sure there's more and i'm just not thinking of them at the moment but if i think of anything else i'll be sure to update the list
Ok well that's it for this installment we'll continue this learning experience another day!
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