i apologize in advance this one's a bit of a ramble, the thoughts just pouring out. And i'm not the world's greatest typer... OK, i'm probably in the bottom percentile of typers, just below your elderly granny but just sneaking past the neanderthals so please bear with me!
Over the last little while i have told two of my close friends about Madam and i. One is quite kink aware and is totally cool with it, she actually joked that if she had know that she would have been putting me to use, so to speak. The biggest problem is that she is teaching overseas so i can't just hang out and go for coffee. Before she moved we lived in the same apartment building and we used to hang out at least once a week so i got used to being able to talk to her about almost anything and it really sucks that i can't just run upstairs and shoot the shit when something comes up. The other is the guy that i dated during my hetero-curious phase. He's cool with it but i don't think he really understands most of it. He's a pretty simple kind of guy and i think that most BDSM stuff is beyond his comprehension.
Also a few weeks ago i went to a meeting for submissive women, kinda a peer mentoring thing. It was good, i'm so glad i went. i met a lot of great women and it was so nice to be able to talk to others who are in the lifestyle.
On a slightly related note, the other day Madam found one of Her co-workers' profile on Fetlife (we'll call her CW). We knew that she is in a poly relationship and we had kinda wondered about her kinky status but it was not on purpose that Madam found her.... So... i went to meet Madam for lunch on Wednesday. She told me that She had been dropping hints to CW about us being into D/s but between customers and the other co-worker being around She hadn't been able to tell her outright. i hung around the store/mall for the afternoon. When CW went on her break i went with her and told her about Lee and i. So now Madam has someone to talk to also. The other potentially good thing is that CW is involved with the kink scene so i'm kinda hoping that she will be able to introduce Madam to other kinky people.
Which i think would be a huge benefit to Madam. Like i said a minute ago, i went to the sub gals meeting, and am planning on going to the next one too, and found it to be such a wonderful experience to even just be sitting in a room full of other kinksters. i had been talking to Madam about us going to a Sagacity meeting before but after i went to the sub meeting i felt even more convinced that she needed to talk to other people too. The problem is that Madam is kinda reserved, shy even and in my opinion kept brushing off the idea. We've talked about why but i can't remember Her exact reasons at the moment. As great as it is for Her to read stuff on Fetlife and the internet in general, i think She it would serve Her a world of good to be able to sit face-to-face with other kinksters and bask in the community. Be surrounded by people who understand, mostly, what it is, this thing we do. To be able to say to someone "i own my fiance, she wears my mark and I love it".
At the meeting that i went to there was cake, to celebrate the birthdays in the group for that month. One of madam's rules is that i have to ask permission to eat sweets, so i had to text Her before i could have a piece.... and nobody looked at me weird when i did. It was great!!!
Back to CW. Madam and i suggested to her that we hang out sometime. i'm not sure if that means just the three of us or if CW's partners would be involved as well or a combo of both but either way i hope that Madam can gain some of that accepted feeling that i have.
K, so this next part is more geared towards Madam but anyone is welcome to read it...
I'm going to use another analogy, cause i like them (i'm your analogy slut, just using them when ever i can lol) and it's the best way i know how to explain things usually. As You know, i came out in high school. i didn't know any other gay people, just my girlfriend. Back in those days, the school didn't have a GSA. And the gf wasn't old enough to go to the bar (i grew up in a province where the legal age is 18 so i could go but what's the fun in going out by yourself?!?). After high school she went to university and after a while started going to the LGBT centre in the Students' Centre. They were open to the larger LBGT population for the most part. One time i decided to go with her to a meeting even though i wasn't a student. The experience of being in a room surrounded by so many other gays was incredibly uplifting. It made me realize that i wasn't alone, that there is support if and when i needed it. i found a community of people who were also struggling with the same issues that i was. It was like by just meeting that group of people, i all the sudden realized that i wasn't the only lesbian in the world and that there are many others who i could learn a thing or two from.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that, by meeting other people, you may learn things that you have been struggling with. And things you didn't know you didn't know. You don't need to re-invent the wheel but if you don't talk to the guy that did you will have to.
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