30 Days of Kink-Days 3, 4 & 5

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

i have had fantasies of being raped and/or used sexually since i was young. i can't pinpoint what made me discover that i was actually kinky. i guess i didn't know until Madam and i began to play. As i will talk about further down, i did have some experiences with an ex-girlfriend that were kinky but at the time i didn't realize that was kink. i just thought that i was living out a fantasy.

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

i have had partners hold me down and talk dirty to me while we are having sex. Again i didn't realize that that was kink, i just thought it was cause i liked sex to be a bit "dirty". Before Madam and i started our D/s we had sex a few times in the remains of an old military lookout near our apartment and one time when we went to the opera i was "commando" so that Madam would have access to my pussy; She played with my clit until just before i came but She was worried that i wouldn't be able to keep quite if i orgasmed so She stopped.

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

As i mentioned in Day 3's question an ex-girlfriend and i engaged in some rape play. Twice actually. It happened just after we had started dating. i had told her about my fantasies and she agreed to try it out. The first time she "raped" me turned me on so much that i knew i wanted it again. The second time we played the ex-gf got into her role quite deeply which worried me. You see the ex had anger issues that at the time i didn't know about, to be honest i didn't know nearly enough about her to be involved with her in that manner but i was young and stupid and we had been doing coke. She never did anything to hurt me but i was too scared to ever suggest we try that again.

My first kinky experience that i knew was kinky was with Madam. i actually Dommed Her. i can't remember the specifics but i do remember thinking that i wanted to be the one that was on the receiving end of the spankings.