The other night i went to my first kink event. It was at a local gay bar that i have been to many times before so i was in familiar ground at least. i went with some of the women in the submissive womens’ group that i attend.
i was kind of disappointed though. i thought there would have been more kink/fetish stuff going on but it was pretty tame. There was a guy doing suspension bondage and another doing temporary piercings off in the back corner and there was a St. Andrew’s cross for a while on the middle of the dance floor. Two women did a 20ish minute fire play show which i personally thought was not very exciting, it just seemed so acted out, too showey or scripted or something. i didn't stay till the end of the night and i think there was another show but i'm not exactly sure what it was about.
The reason that i’m telling you this is because i got some temporary piercings done. i had three 22-gauge needles on each side of my collar bone. i was curious as to what it would feel like and someone that i was with was interested in doing it but was kind of nervous so i said that i’d do it first so they could watch. (when i was in nursing school i had practiced giving injections with needles about that size on myself so i knew that it wouldn’t be too bad) It felt good in a way, a bit of an endorphin rush but not at all kinky. In fact it felt very clinical, akin to getting real piercings done but with loud music and a whole bunch of people around. Apparently i was supposed to have them removed before i left but buddy wasn’t at the station and i didn’t want to make the woman who was giving me a ride home wait so i wore them home.
Well, Madam was not happy with me at all to say the least. At first She thought i had been part of a scene. Once i had explained that it was definitely not a scene she was still upset that i had done something like that without asking. Which, looking back at it now, if the roles were reversed i’d be pretty pissed too. She owns my body and i violated that ownership. AARRRGGH… how do i think that i’m ever going to be “good enough” to be a slave, i can’t even be a good obedient sub.
In my own defence, i know that needle/piercing play is something that Madam is not interested in doing, heck it’s a hard limit for Her. i didn’t think she would care very much since i’m not doing something that’s between us. But like She pointed out, there have been other things on the hard limits list that have been removed and that we do now so that could also happen to needle/piercing play. And the biggest thing was that i took away Her control and ownership of me.
Maybe one day She and i will try it. i think it’s something that i could really enjoy in a scene. i enjoyed the sharp bit of pain of the needle entering my flesh and i always love the “reminders” from play with Madam and i do have a couple small bruises so it would be fun to know that She was the one who had left them rather than some random dude at the bar. i think She might too, if She looks at it as a new way of penetrating me ;) and giving me pleasurable pain. And if Her back keeps bugging Her it's something that doesn't require Her to put too much oomph into it like flogging.
i promised Her that i would try very hard to be more respectful toward Her. i will ask before doing anything that would be considered kinky or play-like. Cause like She told me, She would have said yes but i took away Her opportunity to make decisions for me.
While at the bar i ran into the ex-bf whom i have told about Madam and i. i am so thankful that i had told him before cause i don’t know what i would have said if he’d seen me wearing my collar and corset with a bunch of needles in my skin. And no Lee? so whom are you here with elle? i am a terrible liar and even worse so when i have to come up with something on the spot. But i didn’t have to lie, i could be honest. And it was wonderful.
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